Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Nowadays, a growing number of people are visiting big shopping malls instead of small shops. It brings a positive and negative development in the society, as exploring large shopping centres allow the customers to get variety of options on particular items, branded stuff, food courts and enjoyments options, whereas it would be responsible for the closing of local shops and build pressure on the governments.

Travelling to big shopping malls is quite common in today's time, because it work as a one-stop destination for them. For example, malls facilitate customers a different choices for clothes, grocery, toys and other sort of stuff at one place on a very reasonable price, as a result, it access them best options for their shopping and save their time and budget. Moreover, out-standing ambience, modern infrastructure and availability of all types of facilities such as cafes, cinemas and play areas dramatically enhance their shopping experience. Therefore, they prefer to visit shopping malls for shopping as well as spending time with their friends and family.

On the other hand, over popularity of large shopping malls creates a worsen impacts on the local business market, as it would be challenging for the small shops owners to cope with competition, which foster them to close it. Consequently, it have been raising the job demands in the community and places pressure on bread-winners to meet the demands of their family. Apart from that, it can possess negative effects on the revenue generation and reduce the economy of individual city. Hence, governments have to take correct measures in order to support the small business and promoting the people to visit small shops for purchasing hand-crafted items, which could be hard to buy from the large shopping centres.

In conclusion, accessibility, pocket-friendly prices, availability of various amenities and enjoyments options drag the customers to visit large shopping malls, which significantly damage the local market and makes the small shoppers unable to face financial loses in their business and foster them to close their shops. As a result, it will address unemployment and economical problems for them and higher authorities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument, acknowledging the benefits of malls and the negative impact on local shops. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive; for instance, the points about 'variety' and 'convenience' in the second paragraph could have been more concisely expressed to allow for deeper analysis of the socio-economic consequences. While the prompt asks for a positive or negative development, you have provided a balanced view, which is acceptable, but ensure that your conclusion clearly synthesises these points rather than just restating them. The ideas are relevant, but the depth of analysis could be improved to reach a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organised into clear paragraphs. You use a range of cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'On the other hand', and 'Consequently' to link ideas. However, some of these transitions feel slightly mechanical or forced. The referencing is generally clear, though there are occasional instances where the flow between sentences is slightly disjointed, such as the transition between the discussion of job demands and the impact on city revenue. Overall, the progression of ideas is easy to follow, and the paragraphing is appropriate for the task.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, including terms like 'ambience', 'infrastructure', and 'bread-winners'. However, there are several instances of awkward collocation and word choice, such as 'worsen impacts', 'foster them to close', and 'access them best options'. These errors occasionally draw attention to the language rather than the content. To improve, focus on using collocations more naturally. While you attempt to use less common vocabulary, the inaccuracies prevent the score from reaching the higher bands where precision is required.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'it work as', 'it have been raising') and article usage. Some sentences are slightly clunky due to these errors, such as 'it would be responsible for the closing of local shops'. While you attempt complex structures, the control is inconsistent. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic agreement errors and ensuring that complex sentences are constructed with greater grammatical precision.

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