Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-14
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.
Is this a positive or a negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In recent year, number of small business stores has been shutdown due to, buyers going to big malls for their shopping. There are differing opinions on the matter. It is important to explore both the sides of the argument for a comprehensive understanding, This essay will discuss the various scenarios of the topic and demonstrate the viewpoint with the logical narrative.
Firstly, one prominent aspect of the small businesses have minimal options to buy and less distance area to commute to there, Moreover, most of the convinence store are open for 24/7 that will be flexibility for individuals .For instance, it is about the people convinence and time consuming desicion. As a result, the aforementioned points justify the viewpoints.
secondly. it is important to note that big shopping center have variety of store and option to desire, never the less, even in malls have playing areas for children that parents can have their time to shop. For example , a recent report by a prestigious university of the west prove the validity of the statement with all the logical evidence. Therefore, the discussed assertion validates the facts supporting my viewpoints.
In conclusion, i state that shopping in big shopping center are more prisecily and explorable to enjoying there weekends and there free time with their family. I believe that i have conclude my statemnet in conclusive manner.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. While you identify the topic, the arguments are underdeveloped and lack specific, concrete examples. For instance, you mention a 'report by a prestigious university' but provide no details about what the report actually says. The position is somewhat unclear, as the essay oscillates between discussing the convenience of small shops and the variety of malls without taking a definitive stance on whether the trend is positive or negative. To improve, you must expand your arguments with detailed explanations and ensure you meet the length requirement.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused, such as starting sentences with 'Moreover' or 'never the less' in ways that do not effectively link ideas. The punctuation is also problematic, with periods placed incorrectly (e.g., 'secondly. it is important'), which disrupts the flow of the text. Referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow your line of reasoning. Improving the use of transition signals and ensuring correct sentence boundary punctuation will help improve the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. You rely on basic terms like 'big' and 'small' throughout the essay. There are also several word-choice errors and spelling mistakes, such as 'convinence' (convenience), 'prisecily' (precisely), and 'statemnet' (statement). The phrasing is often unnatural, such as 'less distance area to commute to there'. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary, including less common lexical items, and focus on correct spelling and collocations. Using more precise academic vocabulary would significantly enhance the quality of your writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement, such as 'number of small business stores has been shutdown' and 'shopping in big shopping center are'. Articles are frequently missing or misused, and sentence structures are often simplistic or fragmented. The use of complex sentences is attempted but frequently results in errors, such as 'that will be flexibility for individuals'. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of articles before attempting more complex grammatical structures.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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