Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, people want to shopping more from mall and shopping centres instead of small local shops because of that many local business have closed. I believe that this is negative development to a large extent, as local shops have their own value for many mid-class level people. This development discuss in ensuing paragraph with examples.

First of all, the most important reason is that local shops have many advantage compared to mall. This is because even today many people prefer to buy products from small business because they are cheaper and easy to bargain for the product. Also, they are convenient to buy from there homes for rural people. For examples, many people want to buy cloth from local market as they do not have time to go in cities and buy expensive cloth. Therefore, individuals save money and time from purchasing local market.

Another reason is that in big shopping centre people have to take extra time as they are extra shops to visit. Additionally, they are particularly spend more time and money on this of place because that expensive too. Sometime same quality of product in local market while they are more expensive in mall.

However, there are advantage too having huge shopping centeres in town. As sometime we found deal and discount in particular seasonal period such as Chirstmas and new year also found everything in one place is helping to buy everything. For examples, if group of people want to purchase weeding dress from mall, they have same shops to buy jewelry and shoes.

To conclude, it can be said that despite the fact of buy everything from one place and discounts, there are reasons for buying from local shops because cheaper price and convenient are more reasonable. I believe both have their own pros and cons. But disappearing local business is not a solution as many people relay on the local market.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by identifying the closure of local shops as a negative development. However, the development of ideas is somewhat inconsistent. While you provide reasons for preferring local shops, such as convenience and price, the counter-argument regarding shopping malls is slightly underdeveloped. The position is clear, but the explanation of why the closure is 'negative' could be more deeply explored beyond just price and convenience. To reach a higher band, ensure that each paragraph fully supports the central argument with more nuanced analysis rather than just listing features.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use basic cohesive devices like 'First of all', 'Another reason', and 'To conclude' to guide the reader. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the use of referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the phrase 'this of place'. The transition between the negative aspects of malls and the positive ones in the fourth paragraph is abrupt. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between ideas would enhance the overall coherence of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your meaning clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'local business', 'shopping centres', and 'bargain'. However, there is a lack of variety and some inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'shopping more from mall' (should be 'shopping more at malls') and 'relay on' (should be 'rely on'). The range is somewhat limited, and there is repetition of basic words. To improve, try to incorporate more precise synonyms and collocations related to economics and consumer behavior.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('many local business have closed'), article misuse ('go in cities'), and awkward phrasing ('they are particularly spend more time'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are persistent and occur in both simple and complex sentences. To achieve a higher score, focus on proofreading for basic errors like pluralization, verb tense consistency, and correct preposition usage.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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