Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In the era of globalization, large multi-corporation has influence many nations. These large enterprises have invested significantly huge amount of money throughout the time. All items is available in one store. From fruits to furniture, grocerys to clothing etc.Which has resulted to diminish small retailers.

To start with,the society has accepted dual income concept which has lead to work by male and female.Workload and made a crunch in time for a family.Hence they do there shopping from one store rather wasting their precious time to visit mutiple shops.Moreover,this huge corporations attract many consumers by giving them offer like discounts and points redemption.For example:Walmart offers many attractive policies like no ask return,points redemption and many more.On the other hand,the small or medium business owners just have limited stocks to entertain customers,making it very difficult to survive in the competition.

Secondly,if we look into pricing model,large shopping malls keeps the price low while the prices are high in local shops.Why? Procuring the raw materials directly from the manufactures results in lesser price rather than involving a middle representative in between resulting in gradually higher price.Example,clothes in local or traditional vendors are expensive than in shopping plazas.

To sum up,I would say that small and medium shops are also very important for a country along with this big competitors.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. While you address the topic and provide a clear stance, the arguments are under-developed. For instance, the explanation regarding the 'dual income concept' is a good starting point but lacks sufficient depth to fully explore the impact on local shops. Additionally, the conclusion is very brief and does not adequately summarize the main points or provide a final thought. To improve, you must expand on your examples and ensure each paragraph has a fully developed supporting argument to meet the length requirement.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or inaccurate. For example, 'Which has resulted to diminish' is grammatically incorrect and disrupts the flow. The transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs is somewhat abrupt. While there is a logical progression from the convenience of malls to the pricing models, the lack of sophisticated linking words makes the writing feel disjointed. Improving the variety of transition signals and ensuring they are used correctly will enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for a higher band. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'large multi-corporation has influence many nations' (should be 'large multi-national corporations have influenced') and 'made a crunch in time'. Spelling errors like 'grocerys' and 'manufactures' (instead of 'manufacturers') also detract from the quality. To improve, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensure correct word forms are used in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('All items is available'), incorrect verb forms ('has lead to work'), and punctuation errors. The sentence 'Which has resulted to diminish small retailers' is a sentence fragment. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence construction limits the score. Focusing on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and correct verb tense usage would be highly beneficial.

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