Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Due to technology development and growth, the lifestyle of consumers has become demanding as well as expensive. Nowadays, majority of lower scale shops are closed because people prefer to go to large scale shopping centers and malls for shopping which have created a debate in society regarding their positive and negative aspects.

To begin with, for new generation the shopping malls are the trendy place to visit because they get everything under one roof which is time saving. To cite an example, if a family have a planned to spend a day together while doing shopping, having lunch together they will prefer to go to a mall rather than driving around the city to visit individual shops whereas, it is not only time consuming but also wasting car fuel.

On the darker side, these large scale developments have made people lazier as well as irresponsible towards the society. For example, buying products from malls are expensive than buying from a local shop however, the local shop sell handmade products with cultural touch that is cheaper and of good quality whereas, buy international brands for shopping center as expensive as well as low quality.

To conclude with, our society should be responsible enough to understand if they do not buy products from local shops that will demonstrate negative publicity of our cultural heritage therefore, promoting and spreading awareness of it will not only help the shopkeeper but also help country to promote our local traditional products in other countries. I believe there should be a balance of buying product at both the places.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of the shift toward shopping malls. You clearly state your position in the conclusion, suggesting a balance. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. While the convenience of malls is well-explained, the argument regarding the 'darker side' is slightly underdeveloped and contains some sweeping generalizations, such as the claim that all mall products are of 'low quality.' To reach a higher band, ensure that your supporting examples are more nuanced and directly linked to the core argument of the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'To begin with,' 'On the darker side,' and 'To conclude with,' which help guide the reader. However, the flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical. For instance, the transition in the second paragraph ('whereas, it is not only time consuming...') is slightly awkward and lacks a clear logical connection to the previous clause. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that referencing (e.g., 'it,' 'these') is precise will help improve the overall flow and coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'cultural heritage,' 'demanding,' and 'international brands.' However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors, such as 'lower scale shops' instead of 'small-scale shops' or 'local shops,' and 'demonstrate negative publicity' which does not quite fit the context. Additionally, there are minor errors in word form, such as 'buy international brands... as expensive,' which should be 'buying international brands... is expensive.' Expanding your vocabulary to include more precise collocations would enhance your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, they often contain grammatical errors that affect clarity, such as 'if a family have a planned to spend a day' (incorrect verb tense) and 'the local shop sell handmade products' (subject-verb agreement error). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some run-on sentences and misuse of commas. To improve, focus on mastering subject-verb agreement and ensuring that complex sentence structures are grammatically sound. The errors present do not prevent communication, but they are frequent enough to limit the score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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