Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-17
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.
Is this a positive or a negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In this decade, many people like to go to big showrooms to purchase things instead of local shops. I think it is negative development. I will discuss my points related to this in upcoming paragraphs.
To begin with this, In this modern era individuals have increase their life of standard. They are doing showoff means they are following only society.For instance if someone buy clothes from supermarket next time they will go to the supermarket. As a result they are buying things from big malls instead of small shops. The second big reason for this is advertising .To explain this people watched a lot of advertisement of big malls .For example their favourite actor Akshay Kumar who is role model for them is buying things from big market, they follow this trend and next time they are planning to go to the big market. Basically it is influence of social media and advertisement.
However this has negative effect on the society.If individuals are purchasing things from big malls then one day local vendor disappears.As local shops they are only dependant on their customers they have no advertisement. They have made their own hand made things which is pure , disappear one day. I will explain this with one example on diwali , local vendor made handmade lights and on other side showroom has too many other types of lights which are made from machines.Then people prefer to buy lights from showroom as these are cheap and of good quality.
In conclusion, Increase of big malls is the cause of shutting down of local vendors and it is the negative development for the society.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that the closure of local shops is a negative development. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention social influence and the disappearance of local vendors, the arguments lack depth and specific evidence. For instance, the point about 'showoff' and celebrity influence is relevant but could be better articulated to explain the economic impact more clearly. The conclusion is brief and repeats the main point without summarizing the supporting arguments. To improve, ensure each body paragraph provides a more detailed explanation and a more robust example to support your claims.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'For example' and 'To explain this'. Some transitions are awkward, such as 'To begin with this'. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, making the logical progression between sentences feel disjointed. To achieve a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and phrases more naturally, and ensure that each sentence flows logically from the previous one to create a more cohesive argument.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on basic terms like 'big showrooms', 'big malls', and 'things'. There are also some issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'individuals have increase their life of standard' (should be 'standard of living') and 'local vendor made handmade lights'. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of sophisticated or topic-specific vocabulary limits the score. Try to incorporate more precise terminology related to economics, consumer behavior, and urban development to enhance your writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('people watched', 'vendor disappears'), article usage, and awkward phrasing ('they are doing showoff means they are following only society'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing after commas and periods. While the meaning is usually understandable, the frequency of these errors suggests a need for more careful proofreading and a better grasp of basic sentence construction and verb tenses.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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