Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this contemporary era, consumers are more influenced by the celebrities to wear a branded garments. Owing to this trend the local vendors are almost close to shutdown their stalls and people are fostered to shop from well-known shopping malls or plazas. In my opinion, it is positive development in society.

To commence, big shopping centres are beneficial to customers in several ways. The first and foremost, such items like clothes or shoes and furnitures could be shopped under the same roof by individuals. For example, Walmart has been selling electronics, groccerries, cosmetics and vegetables at their stores. Ultimately it saves their time and fuel. Another thing from traffic congestion, street vendors in downtown do not have a parking facility which leads traffic on roads. To illustrate this, the illegal stalls of vegetable and fruits have been established on road side in Mumbai, enhances traffic jam.

Furthermore, the debris created by local shops has been contaminating the environment. Apart from this, shopping malls can provide extra discount on special purchase and free delivery to customers' home. For instance, number of furniture pieces: wardrobe, bed and vanity purchased from Ikea gives great deal and delivery too. Last but not least, guarantees and warranties have been offered by them for a years if the purchases have been made from malls.

On the other hand, local shops sales goods at cheapest price and unlike big stores there could be an opportunity to negotiate on price.

In conclusion, shopping malls are giving number of fruitful pros like it saves time, free delivery, discounted coupons and it ameliorates traffic. Henceforth, it is a beneficial to everyone.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that the closure of local shops is a positive development. You provide several relevant arguments, such as convenience, time-saving, and traffic management. However, the introduction is slightly off-topic by focusing on celebrity influence and branded garments, which is not the core issue of the prompt regarding local shops versus malls. While the main body paragraphs offer supporting examples like Walmart and Ikea, the development of these ideas is somewhat superficial. To reach a higher band, ensure your introduction directly addresses the prompt's premise and expand your arguments with more depth rather than listing multiple points.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'To commence', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion', to link your points. However, some transitions are used mechanically or are slightly awkward, such as 'Another thing from traffic congestion'. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. Paragraphing is used appropriately, but the internal structure of the paragraphs could be improved by ensuring each sentence clearly builds upon the previous one to create a more cohesive argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, including terms like 'contemporary era', 'contaminating', and 'ameliorates'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'branded garments' (instead of 'branded clothing'), 'fostered to shop' (instead of 'encouraged to shop'), and 'sales goods' (instead of 'sells goods'). There are also minor spelling errors like 'groccerries'. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning, the lack of precision and occasional misuse of words prevents the response from reaching a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While your meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include 'consumers are more influenced by the celebrities to wear a branded garments' (incorrect article usage and passive voice construction), 'local vendors are almost close to shutdown' (incorrect verb form), and 'it is a beneficial to everyone' (unnecessary article). Punctuation is generally functional, but the frequency of these grammatical slips means that while they do not impede communication, they are noticeable and persistent.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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