Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-17
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.
Is this a positive or a negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
In this modern era, various small shopping shops have closed because of increasing large shopping centers and malls in the city. This essay will discuss positive and negative impact in forthcoming paragraphs.
On the one hand, this is a positive development because vast Varity. Large shopping malls have good quality of products. They have lots of choice in the large shopping centers. They can get all the stuff from one place. For example, in Ludhiana on every occasion they offer discount to people with different good deals. As a result, they can save their money and time.
On the other side, this is also negative impact. It reduces the sense of community. People in the small local shops interact with each other. So, this makes good relationship with neighbors. But in the large shops they do not interreact with people because the large shopping centers are crowded and less personal. As a result, people are less connected to their community. For instance, the survey showed that 70% individuals face less interaction and shy due to less social network. It also harms the local business as big shopping malls are more popular among new generation due to which small shops going to be closed, so this is the harmful impact on local people. As a result, they are unable to full fill their basic needs because of less financial sources.
In conclusion, even though, large shopping centers give convenience and save people time, however, it is negative development because of weakness relationship and harm local business.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, acknowledging the convenience of malls and the negative impact on local communities. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the point about 'small shops going to be closed' and the resulting inability to 'full fill their basic needs' is a significant claim that lacks sufficient explanation or logical connection to the reality of modern retail. The position is clear, but the arguments could be more thoroughly extended to reach a higher band. The introduction is also slightly repetitive in its phrasing.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'On the one hand,' 'On the other side,' and 'In conclusion,' though some transitions feel mechanical or slightly forced. The referencing is generally clear, but the flow between sentences within paragraphs is sometimes choppy. For example, the transition from discussing community interaction to the impact on local business is abrupt. Improving the use of linking words to create smoother transitions would enhance the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. There is frequent repetition of basic terms like 'large shopping centers,' 'small shops,' and 'good.' Some word choices are unnatural, such as 'vast Varity' (variety) and 'weakness relationship' (weakened relationships). The student attempts to use some topic-specific vocabulary, but the range is limited. To improve, the student should focus on using more sophisticated synonyms and collocations to express ideas more accurately and avoid repetitive phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Issues include article misuse ('the large shopping centers'), subject-verb agreement ('small shops going to be closed'), and word formation ('interreact'). Punctuation is generally functional, but the sentence structure is often repetitive. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are noticeable throughout the text. A greater focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and diversifying sentence patterns would be beneficial.
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