Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this growing economy, people love to explore different places like shopping centers or local shops but it has been noticed that few local shops need to shut their businesses because of customers are attracting towards malls and shopping centers for shopping. In my opinion, it's a strong positive development for the shoppers as it's allow them to buy quality products and gives an opportunity to visit new places.

The foremost primary advantages for the shoppers is they can find everything at one place, they don't need to travel at different location or shops for different things. Additionally, they can get branded products along with warranty and guarantee. Secondly, they can do shopping in all kind of weather condition because of it's covered shelter.

Lastly, it's also gives a chance to shoppers of visiting different places as some malls are located in different cities as well as some in different countries. For instances, there are few local shops in our town where we can't find few things, so we visit our neighbor town were we have malls and shopping centers to get our daily stuff as it's saves time and energy.

The biggest disadvantage for the small local shops is the level of advertisement. They won't be able to compare the level of advertisement as large shopping centers. Also, it's hard for them to provide big discounts as compared to shopping malls because most of the stuff are handmade and authentic.

In conclusion, I would it's a positive development as people get to explore new brands and varieties of products as compared to local shops. Moreover, it saves people time and energy of visiting different shops and gathering stuff as they can find everything at one place.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that the closure of local shops is a positive development. While the main arguments regarding convenience, variety, and weather protection are relevant, the development is somewhat superficial. The essay touches upon the disadvantages for local shops, but this section is not fully integrated into the overall argument, as the prompt asks for a judgment on whether the trend is positive or negative. To reach a higher band, you should ensure that counter-arguments are balanced more effectively against your main position, rather than just listing them as a separate point.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'The foremost primary advantages', 'Additionally', 'Secondly', and 'In conclusion'. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical or repetitive. The referencing is generally clear, though some sentences, such as 'The biggest disadvantage for the small local shops is the level of advertisement', lack a clear connection to the previous paragraph's focus on the shopper's perspective. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between paragraphs would enhance the flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'authentic', 'advertisement', and 'variety of products'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'gathering stuff' instead of 'purchasing items' or 'collecting goods', and 'it's allow them' which is a grammatical error affecting lexical precision. The vocabulary is generally functional but lacks the sophistication or flexibility required for higher bands. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding informal phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability, such as 'because of customers are attracting' (should be 'because customers are attracted') and 'it's also gives a chance' (should be 'it also gives a chance'). Subject-verb agreement and article usage are inconsistent throughout the text. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and tense consistency would be highly beneficial.

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