Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.0)

In recent times ,most of the independent retailers have closed their business for the reason customer have choose shopping through mall and large shopping centre .

In my opinion this is really negative impact to small business .they do not have sufficient fund to buy shop in mall .In that time they faces many problem to survive

With their family .They have only one way to earn money and fulfil the family demands .some small businessman attempt suicide to do not pay the emi of loan .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response is significantly under the 250-word minimum requirement, which severely limits your ability to develop your ideas. While you state a position that the trend is negative, the arguments provided are underdeveloped and lack the necessary depth or supporting examples required for a Task 2 essay. The content is too brief to fully address the prompt, resulting in a failure to meet the basic task requirements. To improve, you must expand your arguments with detailed explanations and relevant examples to reach the word count and provide a more comprehensive analysis of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The essay lacks a clear structure. While there is an attempt at paragraphing, the progression of ideas is disjointed. There is a lack of cohesive devices to link your sentences and ideas together, making the text feel like a collection of isolated statements rather than a cohesive argument. To improve, you should use transition words and phrases (e.g., 'consequently', 'furthermore', 'in addition') to connect your thoughts and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that supports your overall position.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

Your vocabulary is quite basic and repetitive, which limits your ability to express complex ideas. Phrases like 'really negative impact' and 'earn money' are functional but lack the precision expected at higher levels. There are also errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'closed their business for the reason customer have choose'. To improve, focus on learning topic-specific vocabulary related to economics and retail, and practice using more sophisticated synonyms to convey your points more effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'customer have choose'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or lack proper punctuation, such as 'In that time they faces many problem to survive With their family'. The range of structures is very limited, relying mostly on simple sentences. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, verb tenses, and pluralization before attempting more complex grammatical structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.