Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

There is no doubt that in this materalistic society people prefer to buy things from the big shopping malls rather than small local shops. Due to this, it has been noticed that local vendors have to shut off their shops. Although, it has its cons still I believe this is totally a positive develpoment. This essay will discuss its pros and cons in details.

The first and foremost reason why people prefer to go malls is that, it is more convenient for shoppers. By this I mean that, individuals are getting all the necessory things from the one place rather than get few things from the local vendor. Moreover, big shops are providing various varieties on household things or in any kind of the products.

Furthermore, shopping centres are mainly choosen by crowd for its entertainment and leisure activity purpose. To explain this, from the big malls people can not only buy food and clothe but they can also spend their whole day with their family by watching a movie, dining out at reastaurants and many more.

However, local shop vendors will feel stay behind and there will be no source of their income if people travel to malls for shopping. Local shop owners should have to include various products and set up some offers and discounts so people can still interested in shopping from shops.

To conclude, although it is negative develoment for local shop owners and they have to closed their shops still there is more pros of this development as people finds shopping centres more convenient, time saving and entertaining.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that the shift toward shopping malls is a positive development. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention convenience and entertainment as reasons, the explanation remains quite general. The counter-argument regarding local vendors is briefly touched upon but lacks depth in terms of how this impacts the community or economy. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is supported by more specific examples or a more detailed explanation of the implications. The conclusion is clear, but the essay structure could be improved by ensuring the 'pros and cons' mentioned in the introduction are balanced more effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use some cohesive devices such as 'The first and foremost reason', 'Moreover', 'Furthermore', and 'To conclude' to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel a bit mechanical, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. For example, the transition between the benefits of malls and the plight of local vendors in the fourth paragraph is a bit abrupt. Additionally, some referencing is slightly unclear, such as 'by this I mean that' followed by a sentence that repeats the previous idea rather than expanding on it.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. You use some topic-specific vocabulary like 'local vendors', 'convenient', and 'leisure activity'. However, there are several spelling errors, such as 'materalistic', 'necessory', 'choosen', and 'develpoment', which occur repeatedly. Additionally, some word choices are slightly unnatural, such as 'shut off their shops' (should be 'close down') and 'feel stay behind' (should be 'feel left behind'). Improving your spelling and refining your collocations will significantly enhance your score in this criterion.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this level. However, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Common issues include article misuse ('the one place', 'the crowd'), incorrect verb forms ('people finds', 'they have to closed'), and prepositional errors. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your message, they are frequent enough to impact the overall fluency. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct usage of articles, as these are recurring patterns in your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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