Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is often noticed that several small shops have been closed, as customers go for shopping in large shopping centres or malls. In this essay, I will discuss the reasons why this is a positive development.

One of the main advantages of large shopping centres is that many people now have limited time to shop. They prefer to visit malls for shopping because they can easily buy all the necessary items under one roof rather than visiting different shops. For example, in Ludhiana city, MBD Mall is known as the best mall, as customers can buy their clothes, footwear, cosmetics, and other household items from this mall. Hence, buyers can save their time.

Another benefit: large shops not only contain a variety of products but also have good quality. Although prices are high in malls as compared to small shops, malls provide such good quality and warranty to their customers. Moreover, shoppers can get discounts on special occasions, such as festival offers, as well as seasonal offers. For instance, many brands give offer buy 1 get 1 offer on summer clothes. Therefore, people can buy good products with offers.

However, in small shops, customers can give proper details to the shopkeeper about their demand, whereas in malls they have to find everything by themselves. Thus, they can shop with the assistance of the shopkeeper.

In conclusion, while people can get help from the shopkeeper to purchase items according to their needs, large malls provide a variety of items under one roof, which helps them to save time.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the shift toward shopping malls. However, the development is somewhat unbalanced. While you provide clear reasons for the popularity of malls (convenience and variety), the counter-argument regarding small shops is introduced abruptly in the fourth paragraph without a clear transition or a balanced conclusion. The essay takes a clear position, but the discussion of whether this is a 'positive' or 'negative' development is slightly overshadowed by a descriptive list of features. To improve, ensure that each paragraph explicitly links back to why the trend is positive or negative, rather than just listing the attributes of malls versus small shops.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear introduction and conclusion. You use some cohesive devices such as 'One of the main advantages', 'Moreover', and 'However'. However, the flow between ideas is sometimes mechanical. For instance, the transition to the fourth paragraph is abrupt, and the connection between the benefits of malls and the drawbacks of small shops could be smoother. The use of referencing is generally clear, but the logical progression within the paragraphs could be strengthened by using more varied linking words to connect the supporting examples to the main arguments more fluidly.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'household items', 'seasonal offers', and 'assistance'. However, the range is somewhat limited and repetitive, particularly with the word 'shopping' and 'mall'. There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'give proper details to the shopkeeper about their demand', which sounds unnatural. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more precise collocations and less common lexical items related to consumer behavior and economic trends, while ensuring that the vocabulary used is appropriate for a formal essay context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'many brands give offer buy 1 get 1 offer' (redundant phrasing) and 'prices are high in malls as compared to small shops' (should be 'higher'). Punctuation is generally accurate, but there are occasional slips in article usage and prepositional phrases. The sentence structures are functional but lack the variety and complexity required for higher bands. Focusing on reducing these minor errors and incorporating more sophisticated complex structures would improve your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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