Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this contemporary era, everyone likes to purchase their stuffs from big shopping malls instead of recahing out to any nearby shop. Although, there are some of the positive sides of this development, it can not be hided the facts and negative asspects of this improvement. And I am going to elaborate this thing in the further conversation.

On the one hand, todays'people like to shop form large shopping malls because it contains all type of products and recreational activities. Malls have shopping center, branded cloth shops, shoes shope as well as jewellary shop, thus people can easly buy their grocery, designer attires, shoes and precious products from the one place. They don't have to visit different place depends on their shop list. Apart from this, malls have cinema theator and gamezone so people not only shop their,but they can spend their time to watch movies and take their children for more enjoyment.

On the other hand, it leads some of the negative affects on society. Middle class men try to run their business and feed their family by operating small shops near the residential area, so people who are living nearby can easly rech those shops and buy their stuffs which are very important in their daily routine like dairy products, cleaning products, etc. By developing more and more shopping malls, these small businesses are suffering from the less earnings in a month which can not help to generate more profite.

In conclusion, shopping centers are good for this fast growing world because it helps them to be more convenient and time saver, specially when it has some recreational activities, eventhough it dosen't mean that it can break the small businesses. A person who belongs from middle class background can have right to run their own business and grow more for their famiy. So, goverment should focus on this ongoing concern and not give permit or permission to develop shopping malls in nearby of residential area

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both sides of the argument, acknowledging the convenience of malls and the negative impact on local businesses. However, the development is somewhat superficial. While you mention that malls offer 'recreational activities' and 'designer attires', the discussion on the negative impact is limited to the economic struggle of shop owners without exploring broader societal consequences, such as the loss of community identity or the environmental impact of increased travel. The position is clear, but the supporting arguments could be more thoroughly extended to reach a higher band. The conclusion introduces a new suggestion regarding government policy, which is a good attempt at a solution but feels slightly disconnected from the previous analysis.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' to signal the structure. However, the flow within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical. For instance, the transition between the benefits of malls and the negative impact on local shops could be smoother. Additionally, there are some issues with referencing, such as the vague use of 'this thing' and 'this improvement' in the introduction, which makes the writing feel slightly repetitive and less sophisticated.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your ideas clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'recreational activities', 'residential area', and 'designer attires'. However, there are several spelling errors ('recahing', 'asspects', 'shope', 'jewellary', 'theator', 'dosen't') and some awkward word choices, such as 'stuffs' (which is informal) and 'not give permit or permission'. To improve, you should focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensuring the correct spelling of common words to avoid distracting the reader.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt to use complex sentences, they often contain grammatical errors, such as 'it can not be hided the facts' (passive voice error) and 'people not only shop their,but they can spend their time' (punctuation and pronoun error). There are also frequent errors in article usage and subject-verb agreement, such as 'todays'people' and 'a person... can have right'. These errors are noticeable and occasionally impede the flow, though the meaning remains generally clear throughout the essay.

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