Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In the last decade, people's choice of doing shopping has been changed, and they are going to big malls instead of local shops; therefore, small shops have closed. I think, it is a positive development, which I will discuss in the upcoming paragraphs.

One of the important reasons why large shopping centers has more customers is variety. In other words, people are very choosy and they always want to try different outfits before buy it. However, in local shops there are very few products which sometimes do not satisfy buyers need. Therefore, it will give a chance of people to buy from different variety of items. Furthermore, It is more convenient for customers to buy things from malls since they have different brand items at a one place. Nevertheless, they have to go to different shops to buy different things. For example, in big cities, people can buy almost every thing at one place, such as grocery, clothes and vehicles.

Moreover, people have a access to see the discounts which have been given by big stores since they have online websites. On the other hand, small shops do not have such information media and they just hang posters at the front of their shop, so it is hard for any customers to know what they are offering. Additionally, big cities always follow latest fashion; consequently, more youngster would love to go their to buy latest clothes.

In conclusion, although local shops are closing, it is a positive tend that more people travel to big cities for shopping because they can get extra discount and buy latest fashion clothes and other things at same place.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that the shift toward large shopping malls is a positive development. You provide several reasons, such as the variety of products, convenience, and access to online discounts. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the argument regarding 'vehicles' being bought at a mall is not entirely realistic for most shopping centers, and the discussion on 'youngsters' is a bit generalized. To reach a higher band, ensure that your supporting examples are more grounded in reality and that you fully explore the implications of your arguments rather than listing them briefly.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. You use cohesive devices such as 'In other words,' 'Furthermore,' and 'Consequently' to link your ideas. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical or are used incorrectly, such as 'Nevertheless' in the second paragraph, which contradicts the preceding point about convenience rather than adding to it. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the pronoun 'they' in the second paragraph, which could refer to either the customers or the malls. Improving the precision of your linking words will enhance the flow of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'convenient,' 'discounts,' and 'satisfy.' However, there are instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'people's choice of doing shopping' (should be 'shopping habits') and 'information media' (which is not the standard term for advertising or digital marketing). There is also a reliance on basic vocabulary. To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic collocations and avoid repetitive phrasing. While your meaning is generally clear, the lack of sophistication in word choice limits the score in this criterion.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'shopping centers has' instead of 'have') and article usage (e.g., 'a access' instead of 'access'). There are also issues with pluralization and preposition usage, such as 'at a one place' and 'at the front of their shop.' These errors are noticeable but do not significantly impede communication. To progress, focus on proofreading for basic agreement and article consistency, and aim for more error-free complex sentences.

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