Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In today scenario, a number of tiny shops which is nearby the area people are living, are shut down because people are going to the big store and mall to buy their things. There are many reasons behind this issue such as more variety, discount and quality of the product. According to my perspective this is positive development. I will explain my viewpoints in upcoming paragraphs with valid examples.

First and foremost reason behind people going toward the big malls and stores is that, they give discount to the customer.to elaborate it more, sometimes in the malls whenever customer buy something more that $200 or something they will get discount and sometimes they get extra things so its gives benefits to both person and salesman. Apart from this , in the large shopping store they always have variety on everything as compared to local markets .Hence people can easily get whatever they want from small to big things, which is also vey good for them. For instance, people cannot purchase anything from nearby market such as designer or branded clothes, purse shoes but when they go the big malls they can easily purchase .

On the other hand this is the positive development. Firstly it is more convivence.to be more precise, people can buy all the things at one location at a time no matter it is about the grocery, clothes or whatever they want to get. Furthermore, shopping from big stores or mall is trustworthy. for example, they or not selling duplicate or copy of the products which local shops do and also if people want to get the refund then they can easily get by showing them receipt .

In summary, above all mentions reasons describe that why local shops are closed and why people are giving more interest to large shopping center .i think that this is positive development if people get more benefits from the large centers they should definitely get that.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by identifying the closure of local shops as a positive development. You provide relevant reasons, such as variety, discounts, and convenience. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, while you mention that malls offer discounts and variety, the explanation remains repetitive and lacks specific, real-world examples to fully support your position. To reach a higher band, you should aim to expand on your arguments with more depth and nuance, perhaps by discussing the economic impact or the changing nature of consumer habits more thoroughly. Your position is clear throughout, but the supporting points could be more robustly explored.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use some cohesive devices such as 'First and foremost', 'Apart from this', and 'In summary' to link your ideas. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'to elaborate it more' or 'to be more precise'. Additionally, there are instances where the flow between sentences is slightly disjointed, and the referencing is occasionally unclear. Improving the variety of your linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'variety', 'convenience', 'trustworthy', and 'designer'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and minor errors, such as 'In today scenario' instead of 'In today's scenario' and 'give discount' instead of 'offer discounts'. Some phrasing is also repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'things' and 'get'. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and expanding your range of academic vocabulary to avoid relying on basic, repetitive terms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but the accuracy is inconsistent. There are frequent errors in articles ('the big malls'), subject-verb agreement ('shops which is nearby'), and punctuation (missing spaces after commas and periods). Some sentences are grammatically incomplete or awkward, such as 'they or not selling duplicate'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic grammatical rules, particularly subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles, and try to incorporate more complex structures with greater precision.

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