Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent years, it has become a growing problem for small shops, as many customers are choosing to shop from big malls and shopping center. This has results in shutting down of many small businesses. This essay will discuss the reasons behind the cause of the problem and provide solutions to address it.

The main reason behind this is fast growing fashion. Many individuals choose to travel an extra mile to shop from high ended brands, such as H&M and Zara. As a result, local brands are negatively impacted. For example, a study conducted in Oxford University revealed that in last one-decade high ended brands have occupied more than 70% of Indian market.

The second major reason is social media influence. Many young adults get influenced by watching others, such as celebrities and famous people wearing such branded clothes. As a result, they get prone to choose buying such branded clothes over clothes from local market. Moreover, the budget of such companies is high they end up spending heavily on marketing team to attract more consumers with their attractive offers. Therefore, many customers choose to travel extra and even ready to pay extra amount to buy clothes from malls and supermarkets.

In conclusion, social media influence with fast fashion influence young people to buy branded clothes. Similarly, companies offering great deals and discounts attract more customers to buy branded clothes over local market. This is a negative impact on local market as they have limited budget, and they cannot offer such heavy discounts end up closing their shop.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by identifying the closure of small shops as a negative development. However, the task asks for an evaluation of whether this is positive or negative, and while you clearly state it is negative, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive. You focus heavily on the reasons (fashion and social media) but do not fully explore the broader implications or provide a balanced view. The introduction mentions providing 'solutions' to the problem, but the body paragraphs do not actually offer any solutions, which is a minor omission in task fulfillment. To improve, ensure that every part of your introduction is addressed in the body paragraphs and aim to expand on the consequences of this trend more deeply.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. You use some cohesive devices such as 'The main reason,' 'The second major reason,' and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally repetitive. For instance, the transition between the influence of social media and the marketing budgets of large companies could be smoother. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the internal cohesion within paragraphs could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that ideas build upon one another more naturally rather than just listing points.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'negatively impacted,' 'social media influence,' and 'consumers.' However, there are several instances of awkward word choices and minor errors, such as 'high ended brands' (should be 'high-end') and 'get prone to choose' (which is non-standard). The vocabulary is generally functional but lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. To improve, focus on learning collocations—for example, instead of 'fast growing fashion,' use 'the rise of fast fashion.' Expanding your range of topic-specific vocabulary related to economics or retail would also help elevate your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors that affect the fluency of the text. Examples include 'This has results in shutting down' (should be 'resulted in the shutting down'), 'in last one-decade' (should be 'in the last decade'), and 'they end up spending heavily on marketing team' (should be 'marketing teams'). Additionally, there are issues with article usage and pluralization. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your argument, they occur frequently enough to limit the score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles to improve accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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