Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-21
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.
Is this a positive or a negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In modern era , due to advancement of technology individuals influence by famous celebrity . in many countries large number of small business have closed , while consumers prefer to big shopping centers and big malls to do their shopping . It is a negative development , this will discuss in the upcoming paragraphs with relevant examples.
There are several reasons to this is negative impact to individuals as well as society . One of them is that difficulties for people from poor background . To explain, local shops are often located close residential areas. so low income people can buy essential items without spending extra money on transportation . However, large shopping some times far away , travelling can cost much higher . Therefor, poor background individuals can not afford . For example, people with limited incomes may find it difficult to afford regular transport costs just buy basic groceries.
Moreover, another negative effect is that local communities may lose their personal and social connections . To elaborate , small shops often provide service because shopkeepers know their daily customers . when these businesses disappear. people may have fewer opportunites. For instance , if local shops are close in a small town . local shops lose t
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. While you clearly state your position that the trend is a negative development, the essay is incomplete, ending abruptly mid-sentence. The arguments regarding accessibility for low-income individuals and the loss of social connections are relevant, but they lack the depth and full development expected at this level. Because the essay is unfinished and under-length, it cannot fully address all parts of the task, leading to a lower score in this criterion.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay shows an attempt at logical organization with clear paragraph breaks. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'For instance', and 'To explain'. However, the progression of ideas is interrupted by the incomplete nature of the text. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear concluding thought and that transitions between ideas are smoother. The abrupt ending severely hinders the overall coherence of the piece.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but remains quite basic. You use some relevant topic-specific terms like 'local shops', 'shopping centres', and 'low income'. However, there are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'individuals influence by famous celebrity' and 'difficulties for people from poor background'. The range of vocabulary is limited, and there is a lack of flexibility in expressing more complex ideas. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic collocations and varied synonyms to avoid repetition.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Issues include missing articles ('to big shopping centers'), incorrect verb forms ('individuals influence by'), and punctuation errors (spaces before commas). There are also fragments and awkward phrasing, such as 'There are several reasons to this is negative impact'. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic sentence construction prevents a higher score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and consistent use of articles.
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