Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is believed that , in the past years local shops have been closed because of the development of large shopping centres and big malls. It is because of the preferance of customers into these big areas. According to my prospective, it is a positive which i gonna be explain further.

Firstly, talk about the small local shops. It is seen that mostly small shops are in the village's or local areas, where people open shops in order to run their business and earn money for their family as well as for their house hold expenses. They sell products with high rate and sometime with expiry date. Also sometime things are not available on their shop which customers need. So because of that mostly customer prefer to buy from big shops. And if in emergency people need to buy some products , they can eaily buy from their near streets.

Even though small shops have the advantages but mostly people prefer to buy from malls, because they can buy anything without visiting another place. They can collect every items from one store. Secondly if in stock they buy products, it would be more priceable for them. They can get offer buy one get one free, which are normally owners put on their stock for sale more. For example, in Canada, normally people prefer to do grocery or buy important things from cosco, dollarama, and maxi, because the price is very reasonable and they can get on offer too.

Although, small shops has the advantages but the more benefits of big malls and shopping centers can not be ignored.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by taking a position, but the development of ideas is inconsistent. While you provide reasons for the decline of local shops (e.g., pricing, convenience, product availability), the argument is somewhat repetitive and lacks depth. The explanation of why this is a 'positive' development is underdeveloped; you mention convenience and pricing, but the broader societal or economic implications are not fully explored. The structure is clear, but the content needs more sophisticated reasoning to move beyond basic observations. Ensure that each paragraph directly supports your stated position to provide a more cohesive argument.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For instance, 'Firstly, talk about...' is not a standard way to introduce a point. Transitions between sentences are sometimes abrupt, and the logical flow is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing. While there is an attempt to use linking words like 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'Although', they are not always used with sufficient flexibility to create a smooth, natural flow of ideas throughout the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on simple, repetitive language (e.g., 'big shops', 'buy', 'products'). There are also several errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'priceable' (instead of 'cost-effective' or 'economical') and 'house hold expenses'. Spelling errors, such as 'preferance', 'eaily', and 'cosco' (Costco), also detract from the overall quality. To improve, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensure correct spelling of common terms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there is a high frequency of grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'small shops has'), incorrect verb forms ('i gonna be explain'), and missing articles. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma placement. While the meaning is generally understandable, the persistent errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevent the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on sentence structure and proofreading for basic errors will significantly improve your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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