Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is argued that in the recent years, many small local shops have closed, because many costumers attend to travel to a larger shopping centers and malls to do their shoppoing, it become a feature key of moderne life, leading to both positive and negative outcomes.

This essay will discuss the main effect of this development, before presenting my own opinion on why it is important to do shopping inside a large malls.

On the one hand, a large number of people are choosing to do their shopping inside a bigger surfaces such as shopping centers, malls. Due to many reasons. For example, the discounts and the large number of choices. For instance, many malls present a 50 perecent sing for their items, creating more challenge for the small shops and more opportunities for clients and costumers. Moreover, shooping in big surface and in shopping centers, can save time and effort for the costmer. For example, a costumer who wants to decorat their bed room have more choice in malls and shopping centers than small shops, they can find everything that is related to desing for from furnitures and painting.

Therefore, I believe that choosing bigger surface to do gerocery or clothes shopping can create more opportunities for the costmer and give a good quality with a reasonable price for the products.

In conclution, althogh many people attend to do their grocery in small shops, because it is near their home and they feel tried to travel to malls, many others believe that doing shopping inside shopping centers can give them more choices and good price.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the shift from local shops to malls, but the development is limited. While you state that this is a 'feature key of moderne life', you do not clearly state whether you view this as a positive or negative development, which is a requirement of the task. The ideas regarding discounts and convenience are relevant, but they are somewhat repetitive and lack depth. To improve, ensure you take a clear stance in the introduction and maintain that perspective throughout, providing more nuanced examples that go beyond simple price comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the logical progression is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing and repetitive sentence structures. While you use some cohesive devices like 'On the one hand' and 'Therefore', the transitions between ideas can feel mechanical. Referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the final paragraph where the connection between the conclusion and the body paragraphs is slightly disjointed. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear, singular focus would enhance the overall flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there are frequent spelling errors (e.g., 'costumers' instead of 'customers', 'shoppoing', 'perecent', 'sing', 'gerocery', 'conclution'). These errors are noticeable and occasionally distract the reader. You demonstrate an attempt to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'discounts' and 'opportunities', but the range is somewhat limited. To reach a higher band, focus on accurate spelling and try to incorporate more sophisticated collocations related to retail and urban development, such as 'consumer habits', 'economic impact', or 'convenience-oriented'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay relies heavily on simple sentence structures, and there are frequent grammatical errors that affect the clarity of your writing. For instance, 'it become a feature key' should be 'it has become a key feature', and 'a 50 perecent sing' is grammatically incorrect. There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage throughout the text. While you attempt some complex sentences, they often contain errors that impede the flow. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for common grammatical slips will significantly improve your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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