Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-21
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.
Is this a positive or a negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In today's world, there are many small local businesses have closed their oprations due to reduction in customer footfall at their shops. This is happning because buyers nowadys preferring the large shopping malls or centers to do their shopping. I believe this is a postive development. This essay will discuss both views with relevant examples.
To begin with, small business runs on relationships and referrals but in current time buyers like to shop from palce which provieds a wider rage of collection to them. Therefore, people are choosing big malls and shopping centers because they get multiple options at a single location instead of romming around various local shops. Moreover, when today's young genrention go for shopping they want to explore various things with shopping. For example, I like to go mall not just becuase of shopping but for the overall experience whichthese shopping malls offers. With the shopping, I can enjoy movies, food and many more things which local shop owners can not provide.
What is more, the most attractive aspect of these malls and shopping centers offers is huge discounts on products, which small shops can not offer due to fewer inventory and tight profit margins. As a result, people chooses shopping mall because it support them financially to save some money. Furthermore, governments are also supporting local business by offering them subsidised rates on rental of shops, to support local business and local culture. Conseqently, it helps local buisness to spread their lags and cater wide rage of customers base.
To sum up, big malls and shopping centers provide convenience and comfort to shoppers therefore, people are choosing to shop in malls rather then going local shops. I belive any development required some amount of secrifies.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that the shift toward malls is a positive development. However, the essay fails to follow its own plan; the introduction states, 'This essay will discuss both views,' yet the body paragraphs only focus on the advantages of malls, neglecting the negative impact on local shops. This is a significant omission regarding the task requirements. While the ideas provided (convenience, entertainment, and discounts) are relevant, they are somewhat repetitive and lack depth. To improve, ensure that the content matches the stated aim in the introduction and provide a more balanced exploration of the topic to fully develop the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. Cohesive devices such as 'To begin with,' 'Moreover,' and 'What is more' are used to link sentences and paragraphs. However, some transitions feel mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the final sentence where 'any development required some amount of secrifies' lacks a clear connection to the preceding argument. The logical flow is generally maintained, but the lack of a counter-argument makes the overall structure feel slightly disjointed given the initial promise to discuss both views.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their opinions clearly. There are attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'customer footfall,' 'inventory,' and 'profit margins.' However, there are several spelling errors throughout the text, such as 'oprations,' 'happning,' 'nowadys,' 'palce,' 'genrention,' 'whichthese,' 'becuase,' 'Conseqently,' and 'buisness.' These errors are frequent and occasionally distracting, although they do not prevent the reader from understanding the message. To reach a higher band, the student should focus on proofreading to eliminate these basic spelling mistakes and aim for more precise word choices.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('small business runs,' 'malls... offers'), missing articles, and awkward phrasing ('spread their lags'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the student attempts complex sentences, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar limits the score. To improve, the student should focus on mastering subject-verb agreement and ensuring that complex sentences are constructed with greater accuracy to avoid impeding the flow of the argument.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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