Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In today's world, many small local businesses have closed their operations due to a reduction in customer footfall at their shops. This is happening because buyers nowadays prefer large shopping malls or centers to do their shopping. I believe this is a positive development. This essay will discuss both views with relevant examples.

To begin with, small businesses run on relationships and referrals, but at present buyers like to shop from places that provide a wider range of collections to them. Therefore, people are choosing big malls and shopping centers because they get multiple options at a single location instead of roaming around various local shops. Moreover, when today's young generation goes shopping, they want to explore various things while shopping. For example, I like to go to the mall not just becuase of shopping but for the overall experience which these shopping malls offer. With shopping, I can enjoy movies, food, and many more things that local shop owners can not provide.

What is more, the most attractive aspect of these malls and shopping centers is huge discounts on products, which small shops can not offer due to lower inventory and tight profit margins. As a result, people choose shopping malls because they support them financially to save some money. Furthermore, governments are also supporting local businesses by offering them subsidised rates on shop rentals to support local businesses and local culture. Consequently, it helps local businesses to spread their reach and cater to a wide range of customers.

To sum up, big malls and shopping centers provide convenience and comfort to shoppers; therefore, people are choosing to shop in malls rather than going to local shops. I believe any development requires some amount of sacrifice.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt, but there is a significant issue with task focus. You stated, 'This essay will discuss both views,' yet the prompt asks for your opinion on whether the development is positive or negative. By attempting to discuss both sides, you lose clarity regarding your own position. While you do state 'I believe this is a positive development' in the introduction, the body paragraphs focus on explaining why malls are popular rather than fully justifying why this shift is a positive development. To improve, ensure every paragraph directly supports your stated position and avoid 'discuss both views' templates when the prompt does not explicitly ask for them.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use cohesive devices such as 'To begin with,' 'Moreover,' 'What is more,' and 'To sum up' to link your points. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the connection between the government support mentioned in the third paragraph and the overall argument about malls is somewhat tenuous. The paragraphing is appropriate, and the central topic of each paragraph is generally clear, though the final conclusion is a bit abrupt and does not fully synthesize the points made earlier.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'customer footfall,' 'inventory,' and 'subsidised rates.' There are some minor issues with collocation and word choice, such as 'wider range of collections' (a better term would be 'wider variety of products') and 'support them financially to save some money' (which is slightly redundant). While you attempt to use more sophisticated vocabulary, the overall range is somewhat limited. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more precise academic collocations and avoid repetitive phrasing like 'shopping malls and shopping centers' used in close proximity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are some grammatical errors, such as 'becuase' (spelling), 'shop owners can not provide' (missing object/pronoun), and 'any development requires some amount of sacrifice' (which is a bit vague). While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. You have good control over basic sentence structures, but your use of complex sentences could be more varied and accurate. Focus on proofreading for minor slips and ensuring that your complex sentences are grammatically sound.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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