Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The closure of small local shops has become increasingly common as more people choose to shop at large shopping centres and malls. Although this trend offers some advantages, I believe it is largely a negative development because it can harm local businesses and reduce the character of local communities.

To begin with, many small shops get closed because of the big shopping complexes. Many people now prefer to wear brands clothes instead of wearing unbranded local clothes. As a result, small businesses are not making enough profit to support their business. This recent development is killing local businesses which is creating more unemployment.

Furthermore, country's economy is also declining because all the brands are international

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The student identifies the closure of local shops and argues that it is a negative trend, providing reasons related to unemployment and harm to local communities. However, the response lacks depth and specific examples, which would strengthen the argument. More elaboration on how this affects not only the economy but also the social fabric of communities is necessary for higher marks. Overall, the response fulfills the basic task but does not fully develop the argument, resulting in a moderate score for Task Achievement.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The response generally flows logically, with a clear introduction and two distinct paragraphs. However, transitions between ideas could be improved for better coherence. For example, the phrase "To begin with" is used to introduce the first point, but a more varied set of cohesive devices would enhance the overall organization. Furthermore, the conclusion is missing, which is crucial for a well-rounded essay. These weaknesses in coherence and cohesion limit the score in this area.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used in the essay is mostly adequate, but there are instances of simple and repetitive word choice, such as 'big' (shopping complexes) and 'local,' which could be replaced with more precise terms. Phrases like 'businesses are not making enough profit' lack sophistication and could benefit from more varied expressions. The attempt to use terms like 'international brands' shows a grasp of the topic, but the overall lexical range falls short of higher band expectations due to repetition and simplicity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

Grammar is mostly accurate, with few noticeable errors; however, some sentences lack clarity and grammatical structures. For instance, the phrase 'country's economy is also declining because all the brands are international' is vague and somewhat awkward. The student should vary their sentence structures to show a better range, such as using complex sentences more effectively. Overall grammatical range and accuracy are adequate but not exceptional, impacting the final band score.

Overall feedback

Your essay presents a clear stance on the closure of local shops, and your argument about its negative effects on communities and employment is an important point. However, you need to provide more specific examples, perhaps by including personal experience or well-known case studies, to strengthen your position. Additionally, consider developing a conclusion to summarize your points effectively. Your vocabulary is adequate, but aiming to use a broader range of lexical choices will better illustrate your arguments. Focusing on improving your use of conjunctions and transitions can also enhance the flow of your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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