Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, there are many small stores shuts down because of malls and shopping centres. Many people prefer to go to these kind of places for shopping and that impacts a lot to small businesses. I feel like this changes demotivate the youth who wants to start career into business.

In modern development, people have several options to buy from shopping centres that provides them all different kind of items such as groceries, skin cares, cloths, medicines etc. Specially, It is very convenient for elders who can not travel different places. There are few positive points for merchants as well who wants to increase their profit level and sell products without doing any advertisements. furthermore, it saves time and energy both for people as they can easily find cheapest options and some specific brands at the same places.

There are some negative points are also relate to this development which majorly impacts to the local shops. Many stores are facing problems for selling their items because of competition. Additionally, those who wants to start a new business, they are getting trouble to manage their margin level and forced to decrease the prices of the certain products. Moreover, local stores face the lose and their investment is getting ruined by this changes.

In conclusion, I would say it is positive changes for those who wants to get good deals and various options in same place. But for those whose income rely on small businesses are facing problems and getting stress a lot.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of the shift toward large shopping centres. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. While you mention that malls offer convenience and local shops face competition, these points are not fully extended with specific, concrete examples. The position is clear, but the analysis remains at a general level. To improve, you should provide more detailed explanations of why this trend is a negative or positive development, perhaps by discussing the broader economic or social implications for local communities versus the consumer benefits of variety and price.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use some cohesive devices such as 'furthermore', 'additionally', and 'in conclusion' to link ideas. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the phrase 'this changes demotivate the youth'. The transition between the positive and negative aspects could be smoother to create a more cohesive argument. Paragraphing is used appropriately, but the internal structure of the paragraphs could benefit from more sophisticated linking words to improve the overall progression of your argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for a higher band. You use common terms like 'good deals', 'facing problems', and 'increase their profit level'. There are some inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'skin cares' (should be 'skincare products') and 'face the lose' (should be 'face losses'). While your meaning is generally clear, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive and lacks the flexibility needed to express more complex ideas. To improve, try to incorporate more topic-specific collocations and precise terminology related to economics and retail.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow of reading. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('many small stores shuts down', 'shopping centres that provides'), incorrect verb forms ('who wants to start career'), and awkward phrasing ('this changes demotivate'). Punctuation is generally functional, but the frequency of these errors suggests a lack of control over more complex structures. Focusing on basic grammatical accuracy, particularly subject-verb agreement and article usage, will help improve your score significantly.

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