Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this modern era, People are more likely to buy there daily necessities from shopping centres rather rather than local small shops. In these paragraph , I will discuss about both pros and cons of shifting from shops to malls in society development.

The first positive impacts of buying from shopping centres, You can buy all home appliances and another important stuffs from one place which saves alot of time precious time of the individuals. For instance, before customers had to visit different shops for buying different things like clothes , food , machines which might take double time than buying all these things from one place. Another benefits of shopping from one mall,

folks get special offers and discounted items in malls which also help them to save good amount of money. For example, some shopping centres given special coupons on each purchase which will later convert into cash or used for buying another essentials.

Apart from advantageous, buying from big mall than small shops also have disadvantageous. The local employers have to shutdown there business because people are not relying on them anymore for shopping which cause unemployment is increasing with the passage of time. To illustrate, In most of the developed country like Canada, Most of the people are dependent on big marts for there shopping than local shops which cause small shoppes are distinct slowly .

In conclusion, Although people are dependent on shopping centres for there daily needs to save there times in this hectic era, they should also visit to local shoppes in their leisure time with their family and friends to spend sometime with their beloved ones and to support local workers.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of the shift toward shopping malls. However, the position is not clearly established or maintained throughout the essay. While the ideas are relevant, they are somewhat under-developed; for instance, the explanation regarding unemployment is quite brief and lacks a strong link to the broader societal impact. The conclusion does not clearly state whether the writer views this as a positive or negative development, which is a requirement of the task. To improve, ensure you take a clear stance in the introduction and maintain that perspective throughout the essay, providing more detailed supporting evidence for each point.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the argument. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, phrases like 'Apart from advantageous' and 'In these paragraph' are grammatically incorrect and disrupt the flow. Referencing is sometimes unclear, such as the use of 'there' instead of 'their' throughout the text, which creates confusion. While there is a basic progression of ideas, the transition between the positive and negative aspects could be smoother. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there are frequent errors in word choice and spelling that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'there' used instead of 'their', 'stuffs' (which is uncountable), and 'distinct' instead of 'extinct'. The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, relying on repetitive phrasing like 'shopping centres' and 'local shops'. To reach a higher band, you should focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensuring correct word forms. Expanding your range to include more sophisticated collocations would also be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'some shopping centres given'), incorrect word forms (e.g., 'disadvantageous' used as a noun), and persistent spelling errors (e.g., 'there' for 'their', 'shoppes'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary spaces before commas and periods. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and sentence structure would lead to immediate improvement.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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