Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Over the past few years, the growing popularity of large shopping centers has resulted in closure of neighborhood merchants due to attraction of population towards large malls as it provide variety of things at same place. This decline is not only considered as negative impact but also have harmful effect on economic level of corner stores.

There are several reasons why consumers increasingly inclined to large shopping malls. the most prominent reason is convenience. it does not involve only the availability of numerous things such as, clothing, groceries, footwear and etc. under the one roof but also the savage of time. for example, it is more uncomplicated for new born mothers to enjoy the pleasure of shopping without commuting from one shop to another.

although development of malls is useful nowadays but not essential to neglect local business. undoubtedly, small corner shops plays inevitable role in development of industrial level as well as economic level to contribute in elimination or reduction of poverty. for example, it assist in enhancing labour demand not only to run local business but also grow local public to earn breasd and butter for well- being of their family.

another supportive reason in the favour of small business is to retain the significance of product variety with handmade and organic products. for example, a significant number of population utilize their talent and provide variety of products such as, homemade utensils made with clay, different types of chairs by using woods.

in conclusion, without any doubt population getting allured to modernization, however the traditional shops play significant role to improve the growth of smll town population as well as to maintain the traditional culture for future generation.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by identifying the closure of small shops as a negative development. You provide relevant reasons, such as the economic impact on local communities and the preservation of traditional crafts. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. While the convenience of malls is well-explained, the argument regarding local shops could be more deeply explored with more specific examples of how they contribute to local economies beyond general statements. The position is clear throughout, but the essay would benefit from a more balanced exploration of why some might view the shift as positive before refuting it, which would strengthen the overall task response.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central theme. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'the most prominent reason is' and 'in conclusion', to guide the reader. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'another supportive reason in the favour of'. Additionally, there are instances where referencing is unclear, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. Paragraphing is present, but the transition between the discussion of malls and the defense of local shops could be more effectively managed to create a more cohesive argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, including terms like 'commuting', 'inevitable', and 'modernization'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and awkward collocations, such as 'savage of time' (likely meant 'saving of time'), 'industrial level', and 'earn breasd and butter'. Some phrases are repetitive, and there are minor spelling errors like 'smll' and 'breasd'. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic collocations and ensuring that less common vocabulary is used accurately in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, they often contain grammatical errors, such as 'it does not involve only the availability... but also the savage of time' and 'small corner shops plays inevitable role'. There are frequent errors in subject-verb agreement, article usage, and punctuation (e.g., missing capital letters at the start of sentences). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable and affect the overall fluency of the writing. Increasing the accuracy of basic grammatical structures should be a priority.

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