Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-26
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.
Is this a positive or a negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Population is increasing day by day so they need surviving products for their life. In this modern era most of the people like to buy products at a one destination therefore smaller business are shutdown. In this essay I will discuss my view regarding it is a positive or negative development for country.
On the one hand, local shops are not compare with large shopping mall because they have not enough space for all products. In large number of local shoes are close because of they not giving any kind of discount on products and they have no more products option for customers. Also, local shops are not open more than 12 hours compare to shopping mall that the main reason for customer convients for them. For example, in Canada some of the stores are open 24 hours a day so they increase there sales as well as customer need.
On the other hand, large shopping malls are boost because they have variety of products as well as they have add extra stall for children activity like playing games , rides in train so partes are easily shopping at that time there children are busy with games. Moreover, they give discount card after shopping and give me reward on some amount of you spend on shopping. For example, Walmart give attractive offer to their customers like if spend more than 35$ then you recive 200 points as use for next time shopping so their customers are come back because of this the of offers.
To conclude, the reason of local shops are closing day by day because they not accept modern ideas for their customers are back to shopping at one shops. large number of malls give attractive offer and more reward after shopping so customers remind that they have some rewards left for this store and agin visit.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by discussing the shift from local shops to malls, but the position is not clearly stated or maintained. While you mention that you will discuss whether it is a positive or negative development, you do not explicitly state your own stance in the introduction or conclusion. The ideas are relevant, such as convenience and variety, but they are somewhat under-developed. For instance, the discussion on local shops closing focuses heavily on their limitations rather than exploring the broader socio-economic impact of this development. To improve, ensure you clearly state your opinion in the introduction and provide a more balanced, analytical exploration of the consequences.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as 'In large number of local shoes are close' or 'the reason of local shops are closing'. The progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing and repetitive sentence structures. While there is an attempt to use linking words like 'On the one hand' and 'Moreover', the connections between sentences are occasionally weak, making the flow feel disjointed. Improving the variety of transition signals and ensuring they are used correctly will significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There are several instances of word-choice errors and non-standard collocations, such as 'surviving products' instead of 'essential goods' and 'partes are easily shopping' instead of 'parents can shop easily'. You rely on basic vocabulary, and there is little evidence of less common lexical items or idiomatic language. To reach a higher band, focus on learning topic-specific collocations and synonyms to avoid repetition and improve the sophistication of your expression.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('local shops are not compare'), incorrect verb forms ('they not giving'), and missing articles or prepositions. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focus on mastering subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and sentence construction to improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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