Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 7.0)

A growing number of small regional shops have shutdown their businesses recently because an increasing number of buyers visiting big malls for their shopping needs. In my opinion, this is a negative development because it has forced people to buy products from malls which can be an expensive option and it has also impacted the earning of the small and middle class shopkeepers.

To commence with, the main reason why closing of local shops is negative development is that it creates monopoly in the market. To elaborate, since shopping centres and malls are taking the businesses away from small shop owners, they are creating a monopoly in the market. Items sold in malls are quite expensive as compared to those sold at local shops. Shops in mall pay high rent and utility bills. They add these charges in the cost of the product. As a result, customers end up paying more than the actual cost of the product in the local market. To exemplify, apparel sold in the malls are twice the price of clothes sold in the local market. Even if the material and quality remains the same. Shops in malls charge more as they have to make more money per product to pay hefty rents.

In addition to this, development of malls and shopping arcades have also impacted the earnings of small vendors. Malls and shopping centres are trending places to buy items. As a result, small shop vendors are losing their business day by day. This has created a formidable situation for them as they find it tough to run their families. Consequently, they become dependent of financial aid schemes leading to more burden on the national treasure. For example, a number of shops in the metropolitan cities have shut down because of the development of shopping malls.

To recapitulate, this essay has discussed that increase in cost of products and reducing the earnings of the lower and middle class citizens are the reasons why shutting down small local shops is a negative trend. In my opinion, government should take appropriate steps such as proving them rent wavier or reducing their utility bills to help small shopkeepers stay in the market.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, clearly stating that the closure of local shops is a negative development. You provide two main reasons: the creation of market monopolies leading to higher prices and the negative economic impact on small shopkeepers. The ideas are relevant and generally well-developed, though the argument regarding 'monopoly' is slightly over-generalized, as malls and local shops often serve different market segments. The position is consistent throughout the essay, and the conclusion provides a relevant suggestion for government intervention, which adds depth to the response.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central topic, and you use cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'In addition to this', and 'To recapitulate' to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally repetitive. For instance, the phrase 'in the market' is used frequently, which impacts the flow. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas, and the progression of arguments is easy to follow throughout the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic with some precision, using terms like 'monopoly', 'formidable situation', and 'financial aid schemes'. There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'proving them rent wavier' (should be 'providing them with rent waivers') and 'national treasure' (should be 'national treasury'). While the vocabulary is adequate for the task and allows for clear communication, it lacks the sophistication and natural collocation required for a higher band score. The repetition of basic words like 'shops' and 'malls' could be improved with more varied synonyms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While many sentences are clear, there are frequent minor grammatical errors, such as 'because an increasing number of buyers visiting' (missing 'are'), 'closing of local shops is negative development' (missing 'a'), and 'dependent of financial aid' (should be 'dependent on'). Punctuation is generally correct, but there are occasional issues with article usage and verb forms. Despite these errors, the meaning is never obscured, and the grammatical control is sufficient to maintain a clear argument throughout the essay.

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