Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It can be observed from last few years that many small scale retail shops have shut down owing to customers' preferences towards commercial centers for shopping. In my opinion, this is a constructive development as people get everything under one roof and there are number of options for comparison.

To commence with one of the positive development, individuals can find different varieties in one plaza. To explain, nowadays humans have hactic lifestyle due to this, they sometimes do not want to go various places to grab their important things. For example, Canadian malls includes grocery stores, clothing centers, beauty salons, drug marts and so on. An individual can purchase grocery along with any clothes if they need in a one time. This can save a time by not visiting another location. Hence, building large shopping malls make peoples' life much easier.

Furthermore, another point for productive development is that enormous level of competition can be observed among various shops in mall. To explicate, a choosy person have many options to compare products and grab a best one. For instance, in a mall, guccci, balenciaga, adidas and many more brands are available. So one have option to choose any brand. Therefore, it is a best way to get a number of varieties under one area.

To conclude, in my perspective cutting of small shops and shifting towards large shopping locations is a best idea as it not only saves much time but also it give a number of options to compare with.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that the shift toward large shopping malls is a positive development. The ideas are relevant, focusing on convenience and variety. However, the development is somewhat limited. While you provide examples like 'Canadian malls' and specific brand names, the arguments remain superficial. To reach a higher band, you should explore the implications of this trend more deeply, perhaps by discussing the economic impact on local communities or the social consequences of losing small businesses, rather than just focusing on personal convenience. The response is balanced but could benefit from more nuanced analysis.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'Furthermore', and 'To conclude' to signal the progression of your ideas. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the use of referencing is occasionally imprecise, such as in the phrase 'due to this, they sometimes do not want to go'. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the overall coherence of the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. You attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary like 'commercial centers', 'retail shops', and 'hactic lifestyle' (though 'hectic' is misspelled). However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'cutting of small shops' and 'grab a best one'. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and a wider range of academic vocabulary to convey your points with greater sophistication and accuracy.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('Canadian malls includes', 'a choosy person have', 'it give a number of options'), article misuse ('in a one time', 'in a best way'), and spelling errors ('hactic', 'guccci'). These errors do not impede communication, but they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and article usage will significantly improve your accuracy.

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