Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Industrialization is at its peak today even in this crumbling economy. Large shopping malls have drastically impacted local shop owners in the past decade. This essay will discuss both positive and negative impacts of such modernization.

Large and architectural shopping centres have everything inculcated inside them from big food chains to everyday brands like Nike, Adidas, etc. This culture in general has made shopping and browsing convenient. People go to these centres not only as a means of buying, but with an intent of spending the entire day off from work. When an individual has choice to window shop all the brands at one place along with dinner options it becomes difficult to look somewhere else. Most of the brands have heavy discounts as well as newcomer coupons which attract the customers instantly. Modern population prefers convenience over anything.

This on the other hand have extremely impacted the local shop owners who earn their living from small sales. It is hard to convince anybody to buy from such shops, but we should not forget our roots and originality. Such shops may have high priced items but the source is always trusted and offers great quality. Organic food farms to natural dye cloths hit different when consumed occasionally. The amount of satisfaction is nowhere near the large food chains or stores.

However one should always look into his purse before making a decision to buy something. It does not mean that spending extra in local shops is always worth the penny but it is also important to unplug yourself from large cities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the convenience of malls and the value of local shops. However, the task asks for a clear position on whether this is a positive or negative development. The essay remains somewhat neutral, stating it will discuss 'both positive and negative impacts,' which fails to take a definitive stance. While the ideas are relevant, the argument regarding local shops is slightly under-developed, relying on general statements like 'we should not forget our roots' rather than providing concrete, analytical support. To reach a higher band, you must clearly state your opinion in the introduction and maintain that perspective throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'on the other hand' and 'however,' though some transitions feel slightly mechanical. The progression of ideas is generally clear, moving from the benefits of malls to the drawbacks for local businesses. However, the final paragraph is quite brief and lacks a strong concluding statement that synthesizes the arguments presented. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a more robust concluding sentence would enhance the flow and coherence of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey your ideas, using terms like 'inculcated,' 'modernization,' and 'unplug.' However, there are some instances of imprecise word choice, such as 'everything inculcated inside them' (which is not the correct use of 'inculcate') and 'hit different' (which is too informal for an IELTS essay). The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but to achieve a higher score, you should focus on using more precise academic collocations and avoiding colloquialisms or misused sophisticated words.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'This on the other hand have extremely impacted' (subject-verb agreement and adverb placement) and 'when an individual has choice' (missing article). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are minor errors that occasionally interrupt the flow. While the meaning is always clear, the frequency of these small errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles would significantly improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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