Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In today's fast-paced world, many individuals hold diverse opinion on a wide range of topics. It is stated that many smaller business are closed due to many customers prefer to buy from large centres and shopping malls. I wholeheartedly agree with this opinion and reasons of behind my argument will be discuss further.

To begin with, there are several benefits of doing shopping in large centres and malls. Firstly, it is providing a variety along with great quality. Hence, customers prefer to spend money on good products such as brands. Secondly, enormous shopping centres provide number of brands under one roof. Hence, people do not need to travel multiple location to find items related to decoration, clothes, furniture and many more. For instance, researchers found that individuals mainly prefer to visit a outlet and do shopping instead of street markets. Thus, it saves their time and provide fine products.

On the other hand, the drawbacks of closing small business should not be ignored. In small stores, the owners or employees mostly build warm, long term relationships with customer and each clients received more personalized service. Moreover, small business negotiate money for poor people and provide old items as per pace. For example, mainly in india, poor people cannot afford brands and they prefer to buy from small business in order to fulfill their needs such as street food, clothes.

In conclusion, the modern proliferation of increasing customers towards shopping centres and closing small business poses serious threat to the quality of life. Nodoubt, large centres provide great quality and quanity but small shops fulfill the needs of poor people which should not be ignored. In my opinion, a balanced approach should be maintained b/w small and large business. Therefore, individual should encourage to explore both centres equally.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages of shopping malls and the disadvantages of losing small local shops. However, the position is slightly contradictory; the introduction states the author 'wholeheartedly agrees' that this is a positive development, yet the conclusion argues that the closure of small shops poses a 'serious threat' and advocates for a balanced approach. This lack of a clear, consistent position throughout the essay limits the score. While the ideas are relevant, the development is somewhat superficial, particularly the argument regarding small businesses negotiating prices, which lacks clarity and logical depth.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. Cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'On the other hand' are used to guide the reader. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly inaccurate, such as the transition 'Hence' used repeatedly in the second paragraph. Additionally, referencing is occasionally unclear, and the flow between the introduction and the body paragraphs could be smoother. Paragraphing is used appropriately, but the overall progression of ideas is slightly hindered by the inconsistent stance taken by the writer.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express basic ideas clearly. There are attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'proliferation', 'personalized service', and 'balanced approach'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'reasons of behind my argument', 'provide number of brands', and 'negotiate money for poor people'. These errors do not impede communication, but they demonstrate a limited range and a lack of precision, which prevents the essay from reaching a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('many smaller business are closed', 'each clients received'), missing articles ('mainly in india'), and awkward phrasing ('individual should encourage to explore'). Punctuation is generally functional, but the frequency of these errors means that the majority of sentences are not error-free. The writer shows an attempt at complex structures, but these are often marred by inaccuracies.

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