Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Now a days, people are going for shopping in a huge malls and shopping centers and buy expensive products and due to this many local shops has to be closed. I strongly believe this is very welcoming development, my inclination will be elucidated in the further paragraphs.

Buying goods from branded shops or from shopping malls gives a numerous benefits, one and foremost people can get high-quality products. folks prefer to purchase a goods from shopping malls, they can get best quality product and do not cheat by the shopkeepers. Nevertheless, they can get discount on selected items and also get some benefits like guaranty or warranty on products. For example, people buy electronic device from a large shop which is famous for electronic products, they get warranty or guaranty on that so if product will be damaged by some reason, company need to replace it to the customer or should repair the product.

Another major benefit to buy goods from showrooms or malls would be maintained social status, people are purchasing products from malls instead of buying from local shops because they want to match their status with society, and show off their ability. For instance, my friend priya recently purchased a beautiful bag from Zara. which is one of the famous brand. My friend just got that bag and feels happy and show it to me, just because in our group she is the only person who don't have a branded bag. now she has one. she just wanted to show of their ability and social status to the people in society.

To conclude, many of small shops has to shuttled down because people prefer to buy products from expensive branded shops, huge shopping centers, and malls. which makes people to maintain their social status and also gives benefits such as discount on selected branded items. I strongly admire this and believe people should keep buying things from malls and shopping centers as they can get numerous benefits.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that the closure of local shops is a positive development. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. While you mention quality and social status, the arguments are repetitive and lack depth regarding the broader economic or community impact. The focus on 'showing off' as a primary justification for shopping at malls is a narrow perspective that limits the sophistication of your argument. To reach a higher band, you should explore more balanced arguments, such as the convenience of one-stop shopping or the economic efficiency of large retailers, while acknowledging the potential downsides to provide a more nuanced discussion.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, and there is a logical progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'Nevertheless' and 'For instance', to link your points. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly inaccurate, such as using 'Nevertheless' to introduce a supporting point rather than a contrast. Additionally, some sentences are fragmented or run-on, which disrupts the flow. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You have an adequate range of vocabulary to express your ideas, including terms like 'elucidated', 'inclination', and 'social status'. However, there are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'do not cheat by the shopkeepers' (should be 'are not cheated by'), 'maintained social status' (should be 'maintaining social status'), and 'shuttled down' (should be 'shut down'). These errors occasionally make the meaning slightly unclear. To improve, focus on learning common collocations and ensuring that you use words in their correct grammatical form.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('many local shops has to be closed'), article usage ('a huge malls'), and punctuation errors, particularly with sentence fragments ('which is one of the famous brand'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to distract the reader. You should focus on proofreading for basic errors like pluralization and verb tense consistency to improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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