Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In these days, majority of the small street markets are closed as most of the folks prefer to do shopping from big shopping malls. In my opinion, it is a positive development, I will discuss my viewpoints in the upcoming paragraphs.

To commence with, there are those who believe that, doing shopping from large stores has more benefits, as they get all the things from one store. To explicate it, as it can be considered that if people do shopping from local stores, then they have to go on different stores to buy different thing. Moreover, they also claim that going the malls save their time more. In street shops they have to explore many shops. To cite an example, a survey was conducted by local authorities revealed that most workaholic pupils prefer do shopping from malls as it save their most of the time for their families and children. Hence, most of the adults prefer to go to malls.

Furthermore, it is also considered that by many as it saves money. As the masses can buy all the thing at just one store. However, if they have to go to a number of shops, it is also a waste of money. For example, an article mentioned in a famous newspaper revealed that more then 50% of the women prefer to do buy thing from large store as they offer them a special discount on any event, of if they do a shopping up to the certain amount of money. As a result, the trend toward going to large shopping centers has increased in today's society.

In conclusion, shopping in malls is not depends on individuals choice, people prefer it according to its advantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that the closure of local shops is a positive development. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive and lacks depth. While you mention convenience and cost-saving, the arguments are not fully extended. For instance, the example regarding 'workaholic pupils' is slightly confusing in this context, and the explanation of why local shops are more expensive remains superficial. To reach a higher band, ensure that each paragraph provides a more nuanced exploration of the topic rather than simply restating the same points about time and money.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear introduction and conclusion. You use some cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'Moreover', and 'Furthermore'. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly unnatural, such as the transition 'In conclusion, shopping in malls is not depends on individuals choice'. Additionally, some sentences lack clear logical flow, making the progression of ideas feel a bit disjointed. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence builds naturally upon the previous one would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There is frequent repetition of basic words like 'shopping', 'shops', and 'malls'. Some word choices are slightly inaccurate or unnatural, such as 'workaholic pupils' (which seems out of place) and 'do buy thing'. There are also minor errors in collocation, such as 'shopping in malls is not depends on'. To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated synonyms and collocations related to commerce and urban development, and pay closer attention to word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'shopping in malls is not depends'), article usage (e.g., 'go on different stores'), and pluralization (e.g., 'buy all the thing'). While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors prevent the writing from reaching a higher level of accuracy. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement and plural forms will significantly improve your score.

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