Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In modern time, people have changed mind for shopping. It has been reckoned by some people that the closure of small local shops due to the popularity of large shopping centre is a positive development, while others consider it negative. This essay will elucidate that I believe, this is a largely negative deveopment and explain the reasons in the subsequent paragraphs.

To commence with, they provide customers with a wide range of the products and services under one roof, which saves considerable tiem and effort. In addition,shopping malls often offer competitive prices because large retailers can purchase good in bulk. They also provides not only making shopping a more enjoyable but also restaurants, cinemas and entertainments areas. For example, a family spend an entire afyernoon a shopping centre, buying grocerices, having luncg and watchinf a film without travelling to different locations. Thus, malls provide more facilities, customers save more time and less effort.

However, I believe that the closure of small local shops has more serious long-term consequences. To expand, a significant number of small business owners lose their source of income, while local employees may also become unemployed. Furthermore, independent shops often contribute to the character and identifyof a neighbourhood. If these besinesses disappear, local communities may become less lively and less social connected. For instance, a small family-owned bakery may have regular customers who know thw owner personally, creating a sense of community that is rarely found in the large commerical centres.

To recapitulate, although large shopping centres provide convenience, variety and entertainment, I believe that disappearance of small local shops is predominantly a negavtive development. Government and consumers should therefore support local businesses where possible in oder to maintain vibrant communities and a divese retail sector.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have addressed all parts of the task, providing a clear position that the trend is negative. Your arguments are relevant, covering both the benefits of malls and the drawbacks for local communities. However, the development of your ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, while you mention that small shops contribute to the 'character and identity' of a neighbourhood, this point could be further extended with more specific analysis on how this impacts the social fabric beyond just the example of a bakery. The response is balanced, but the depth of analysis is more characteristic of a Band 6.5 or 7.0 level.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'In addition', 'However', and 'To recapitulate' to guide the reader. While the progression is generally clear, some transitions feel slightly mechanical. Additionally, there are minor issues with referencing and flow; for example, the second paragraph starts with 'they' without a clear antecedent in the previous sentence, which slightly disrupts the cohesion. Overall, the paragraphing is appropriate and supports the logical flow of your argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, including terms like 'competitive prices', 'long-term consequences', and 'vibrant communities'. However, there are several spelling errors throughout the text, such as 'deveopment', 'tiem', 'afyernoon', 'grocerices', 'luncg', 'watchinf', 'identifyof', 'besinesses', 'commerical', and 'negavtive'. These errors are frequent enough to be noticeable, although they do not impede communication. To reach a higher band, you should focus on proofreading to eliminate these slips and attempt to incorporate more sophisticated collocations or less common lexical items.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as 'Although large shopping centres provide convenience... I believe that disappearance of small local shops is predominantly a negative development.' While you show control over complex sentences, there are persistent grammatical errors, such as 'They also provides' (subject-verb agreement), 'a family spend' (should be 'spends'), and 'social connected' (should be 'socially connected'). These errors occur frequently but do not prevent the reader from understanding your meaning. Increasing the frequency of error-free sentences will help improve this score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.