Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Development is essential for growth. Since some years individuals are preferring to shop from the big malls and shopping centres which results in many small shops being closed. it may have its own merits and drawbacks, I strongly believe that it is a negative trend. My essay aims at discussing both sides and reasons behind my answer in detail.

On the one hand, the most prominent point is that by shifting to purchase from the big malls human beings may ignore local shops which results in an unexpected loss of some local vendors. The more this keeps happening in the long run the more small scale businesses may be affected badly and may result in closing those small stores. For a large number of individuals, their small shops are the main source of earning their livelihood and if these minor businesses keep closing then the world may end up facing poverty on a very large scale.

Additionally, Not only the small scales vendors are earning for themselves but also each of them is providing employment to one or two individuals which paves a path for them to have an income source. Shifting toward big shops can utterly affect them resulting in taking their employments away.

On the other hand, if I consider talking about perks of shopping from major shopping malls, the biggest one to point out is that unlike small businesses people can get each and everything with endless options in one building only which leads them to be satisfied with their shopping at one place leading their time as well as energy to be saved.

In conclusion, although purchasing goods from large scale businesses have some benefits, I undoubtedly believe that people should consider shopping from local vendors whenever possible to save either people or the world to fall below the line of poverty.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by identifying the trend as negative and providing reasons. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive. For instance, the argument regarding the loss of livelihood for vendors is mentioned in both the second and third paragraphs without significant expansion. While the position is clear throughout, the supporting arguments lack depth and specific examples from real-world knowledge, relying instead on general statements. To reach a higher band, you should provide more concrete examples, such as the impact on local community culture or specific economic consequences, rather than repeating the same point about poverty.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'On the one hand', 'Additionally', and 'In conclusion', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical or awkward, such as 'if I consider talking about perks'. The referencing is generally clear, but the flow between sentences could be improved to avoid a repetitive structure. Paragraphing is used appropriately, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the argument, which helps maintain the overall coherence of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks sophistication. You use some repetitive phrasing, such as 'small shops' and 'big malls', throughout the text. While the meaning is always clear, there is limited use of less common lexical items or precise collocations. Phrases like 'human beings may ignore local shops' and 'paves a path for them' are understandable but slightly unnatural in this context. To improve, focus on using more varied synonyms and academic collocations to express your ideas with greater precision and stylistic variety.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'Since some years individuals are preferring' (should be 'For some years, individuals have preferred') and 'leading their time as well as energy to be saved' (which is awkward and grammatically incorrect). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are minor issues with sentence boundaries and article usage. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focus on mastering verb tenses and improving the accuracy of complex sentence constructions.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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