Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It has been noticed that individuals nowadays, prefer to shop in big mega malls instead of old local stores of cities. while this trend offers certain benefits, it even brings some drawbacks, making it both positive and a negative development.

This trend should be considered positive because it does give customer a one-stop solution for all their needs and modern facilities at stores. Large shopping centres are usually designed to have more number of stores in variety such as clothing, footwear, gadgets and so much more which makes it more convenient for consumers. In addition, large malls often get latest technological advancement such as virtual try-ons and self checkouts. These perks not only saves customers time but also makes retailers job easy.

On the other side , this is a negative development as it leads local shop owners to face financial crisis and unemployment of local craftworkers. Due to this trend, local stores often sells less products and which eventually results in low profit of the store owner. Also, these local shops provide a employment to skilled craftworkers and because of this trend , it results in more unemployment.

To conclude with, individuals are choosing large malls over a local shops which is resulting in many shops to close their businesses. However, this craze is both positive and negative development for society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses both sides of the argument, but the development is limited due to the word count being under the 250-word minimum. While you present relevant ideas regarding convenience and economic impact, the lack of depth prevents a higher score. The position is clear, but the conclusion is somewhat repetitive and does not fully synthesize the arguments presented. To improve, you must expand on your examples and provide more detailed explanations for your points. Because the response is 28 words short of the requirement, there is a penalty applied to this criterion as the task is not fully completed.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'In addition', 'On the other side', and 'To conclude with'. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and there are minor issues with punctuation and spacing, such as the space before the comma in 'On the other side ,'. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the limited length restricts the ability to demonstrate more sophisticated cohesive techniques. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring consistent paragraph structure will help elevate this score.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'technological advancement', 'financial crisis', and 'craftworkers'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'more number of stores' (should be 'a greater number of stores') and 'provide a employment' (should be 'provide employment'). There is also some repetition of basic words like 'trend' and 'development'. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding repetitive phrasing. Expanding your vocabulary to include more academic or topic-specific synonyms will also be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('These perks not only saves' should be 'save'; 'local stores often sells' should be 'sell') and article usage errors ('a employment'). Punctuation is generally functional, though there are minor errors with spacing around commas. The errors do not significantly impede communication, but they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and proofreading for small grammatical slips will help improve your accuracy.

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