Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In the last decade, there have been many major changes. One of them includes closing of small local shops. Nowadays, individuals prefer shopping in malls, and there are several reasons for this notion. In further paragraph, I will be discussing the positive and negative impacts of this cause.

To begin with, People have started moving in different directions, their choices have changed, they do not like to settle for less. Many major town centers provide an opportunity for them to find what they like. There are more choices in the malls compare to local stores. For instance, all branded clothes and shoe stores can be found in one spot. It is easy to access materialistic things in one place and no need to run from one place to another.

On the other hand, opening of big town centers have impacted on life of general store keeper. People who cannot afford rent and electricity bills of mall tend to keep small store. This change significantly effect people who have started their buisness years ago, and are not convenient to change. For example, recent study in china reveals, inaugration of new town center in shanghai lead to closing of 150 small local shops near west.

In conclusion, I believe that opening of big malls is convenient and reliable for general public. I and everyone like change, howerer it cannot be neglected what general store keeper goes through. In my opinion, government should handle this with consideration, and should arrange space for local shop keepers inside a mall.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the convenience of malls and the negative impact on local shops. However, the position is somewhat inconsistent; the introduction mentions discussing both positive and negative impacts, but the conclusion leans towards a personal opinion that is not fully integrated into the body paragraphs. While the ideas are relevant, the development is limited. For example, the point about the study in China is a good attempt at supporting evidence, but it lacks sufficient detail to fully explore the implications of the trend. To improve, ensure that the position is clearly stated in the introduction and consistently supported throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To begin with', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'In further paragraph' and 'this cause'. Additionally, the referencing is sometimes unclear, particularly in the second paragraph where the link between the 'change' and the 'store keeper' could be more smoothly articulated. Improving the variety and natural flow of linking words would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are several instances of awkward phrasing or incorrect word choices, such as 'materialistic things' (likely meaning 'consumer goods'), 'not convenient to change' (likely meaning 'unable to adapt'), and 'inaugration' (which is incorrectly used here). Spelling errors like 'buisness', 'howerer', and 'shanghai' (capitalisation) also detract from the quality. To reach a higher band, you should focus on using more precise collocations and ensuring accurate spelling of common academic and business-related terms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Common issues include missing articles ('closing of small local shops'), subject-verb agreement ('this change significantly effect'), and preposition errors ('impacted on life of'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and article usage would be highly beneficial.

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