Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In the salad days of millennium, the society is polarized into two groups whether having a big shopping complex or centers is a type of positive development for cities or it is a negative. Different people have distinct mindset. The following lines will put forward various reason for this notion with my personal that it put adverse effect on the society.

To commence with the first and foremost reason, why this development is a negative for the city is lack of convenience and accessibility as nowadays in this modernized era, going to a large multiplex need more time and it became really very hard for the elderly people to go there, which create a hindrance for them whereas going to local shops makes easy for them to buy their regular groceries. Even though, they can trust easily on them as they are in the market for more than a decade. For instance, a survey was conducted by urbanized city and noticed that 50% of old people stops going out because there were no local shops for buying the regular stuff.

Turing towards second school of thought, this development makes the stuff more expensive for everyone, reason behind is simple as the shops in the malls have to pay a huge number of taxes, rent and electricity bills and salaries which automatically is paid from the customer's pocket. This led to increase in the price of products. Moreover, this puts burden on people. Along with this, it also put stress on middle class people since the local shops are vanishing, and they have to pay double amount for same product. That is why it is a negative development.

Hammering the last nail, I think that the administrative should also help to increase the local business as it is beneficial for citizen to grow effectively.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that the closure of local shops is a negative development. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you provide reasons such as accessibility for the elderly and increased costs, the arguments are not fully extended. For instance, the claim that malls increase prices due to overheads is a valid point, but it lacks a deeper analysis of the economic impact or a more nuanced comparison. The introduction is slightly confusing due to the use of the idiom 'salad days of millennium', which does not fit the context. To improve, ensure each paragraph provides a more detailed explanation and a concrete example that directly supports your main argument.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use some cohesive devices like 'To commence with', 'Turing towards', and 'Moreover'. However, some of these transitions feel mechanical or slightly unnatural, such as 'Hammering the last nail', which is not a standard idiomatic expression in this context. The logical progression is generally clear, but the referencing is occasionally weak, making some sentences feel disjointed. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words more naturally and ensure that the relationship between sentences is always explicit.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and sophistication. You use some basic terms repeatedly, such as 'development', 'negative', and 'shops'. There are also instances of awkward word choices, such as 'salad days of millennium' and 'urbanized city', which do not convey the intended meaning accurately. While you attempt to use some less common vocabulary, the collocations are often slightly off, which impacts the overall flow. To improve, focus on learning topic-specific collocations related to urban planning and economics, and avoid using idioms unless you are certain of their correct usage and context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('50% of old people stops', 'the administrative should'), incorrect article usage, and awkward phrasing ('going to a large multiplex need more time'). Punctuation is generally functional, but the sentence structure is often repetitive. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and refining your use of articles. Additionally, try to vary your sentence length and structure to demonstrate better control over complex grammar.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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