Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent years, many local shops closed because customer want to purchase things from large shops or malls. This statement has both impacts happen positive and negative. But i think this is a negative impact on local shop owners because they loss their earning after closed their small shops.

Firstly, small shops owner loss their earning, which is come through small business. Because, malls and large shops attracts people with giving discount on each items. So, people prefer to purchase thing from malls and large shops. As a result, small shop owners have no more earning so they closed their shops. In addition, they find new earning source. For example, small business owners close their shops in mega cities because their are lots of mall opened in recent years.

Secondly, poor people suffer from many problems like transportation issues. Sometimes, large shops and malls are available far from their home. So they can not go to this large shops or malls. Because they purchase things from small shops because it gives thing in cheaper price than malls and available nearby their homes. For example, poor people buy things from small shops, which are available nearby their hometown. If local shops are closed , it creates problem for poor people. Which buy cheaper things from them.

In conclusion, closing small shops have both impacts positive and negative. But i think this is negative development. Because this creates problems for both small shopkeepers for their earning and poor people for their shopping. Sometimes, they can not go far from their homes to shopping due to lack of transportation.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by identifying the trend and taking a clear position that the development is negative. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive and lacks depth. For instance, the argument regarding 'poor people' is mentioned in the second paragraph and then repeated in the conclusion without adding new insight. While the task is addressed, the supporting examples are quite general and lack the specific detail required for a higher band. To improve, you should focus on expanding your arguments with more nuanced reasoning rather than restating the same points.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use basic cohesive devices like 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'In conclusion' to signal the progression of your argument. However, the use of these devices is somewhat mechanical, and there is a lack of variety in linking words. Furthermore, some sentences are disjointed, such as 'Which buy cheaper things from them', which is a sentence fragment that disrupts the flow. Improving the use of referencing and more sophisticated transition words would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but remains quite basic and repetitive. You frequently use words like 'shops', 'earning', and 'things', which limits the precision of your writing. There are also some errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'loss their earning' (should be 'lose their earnings') and 'giving discount' (should be 'offering discounts'). To achieve a higher band, you should aim to incorporate a wider range of topic-specific vocabulary, such as 'retailers', 'consumer habits', 'economic viability', or 'accessibility'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay relies heavily on simple sentence structures. While there are attempts at complex sentences, they are often marred by grammatical errors, such as 'Because, malls and large shops attracts people' (subject-verb agreement error) and 'they loss their earning after closed their small shops' (tense and verb form errors). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the placement of commas and the use of sentence fragments. To improve, focus on mastering subject-verb agreement, consistent verb tenses, and ensuring that every sentence has a clear subject and main verb.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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