Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In modern times, the trend of shopping from enormous superstores or mega malls has intensified. Consequently, a large number of local retailers has been affected to the extent of being out of business. I firmly believe that it’s an inevitable development which will be positive for the economy. This essay will discuss this phenomenon with relevant examples.

The twenty first century has been the era of communism and industrial boom. One of the distinctive development has been establishment of supermarkets, where all essentials of life are available under one roof. People prefer to shop at the malls because it’s convenient for them to buy any item under one roof. Moreover, these supermarkets are also source of attraction for the customers, as they have dedicated entertainment zones consisting of cinemas, food courts and indoor amusement parks. The big investors have made them irresistible to the buyers. As a result, most of the people go for shopping at malls due to their ease of shopping and entertainment as well. For instance, my mother used to do grocery from different domestic markets, but now she doesn’t need to visit different markets as all of the essentials are available at nearby mall.

These supermarkets act as business centres and produce a lot of financial turnover over and contribute to the economy of countries. However, due to this development a large number of small shops have been closed. As people prefer to buy stuff from the supermarkets, small retailer’s business has been declined dramatically. One of the solutions might be partnership among the owners of small businesses and supermarkets. The production of these small retailers maybe sold at better rates in the malls. This model has been successfully adopted by many countries and deemed successful.

In conclusion, the trend of shopping in the supermarkets is inevitable and essential for economic growth. There must be efficient efforts by the government to reduce small shop’s business affected by this situation. That will definitely help both of the sectors to grow and contribute positively to the prosperity of the national economy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have addressed all parts of the task, providing a clear position that this is a positive development for the economy. Your ideas are relevant, particularly the mention of convenience and economic turnover. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat uneven. While you provide a personal example regarding your mother, the discussion on the negative impact on small shops is a bit brief. To reach a higher band, ensure that both sides of the argument are explored with equal depth and that your conclusion directly synthesizes the points made rather than introducing new suggestions for government intervention.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'consequently', 'moreover', and 'in conclusion' to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and there are instances where the flow could be smoother. For example, the jump from discussing the benefits of malls to the negative impact on small shops is a bit abrupt. Additionally, the use of referencing could be more precise to ensure that the relationship between ideas is always clear and unambiguous.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'inevitable', 'distinctive', and 'irresistible'. There are, however, some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For instance, you use 'era of communism' which seems contextually incorrect for the topic, and 'do grocery' should be 'do the grocery shopping'. You also have some minor errors in word form, such as 'small retailer’s business has been declined', which should be 'has declined'. Expanding your range of topic-specific collocations would help improve your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While your meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include 'One of the distinctive development' (should be 'developments'), 'these supermarkets are also source of attraction' (missing article 'a'), and 'both of the sectors' (unnecessary 'of'). Punctuation is generally fine, but the frequency of these minor grammatical slips prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and article usage will significantly improve your accuracy.

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