Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this fast growing era, shopping centres are playing a vital in everyone's life. Because, it feels very easy and accessible for every individual to save some times to do shopping at one single place instead of roaming different small local shops. However, as per my perspective it is a positive development for us but there have some consequences for local shopkeepers, which I will discuss in details below.

Malls and large shopping centres are time saving for customers. On regarding of this positive point, government nowadays constructing bunch of supermarkets as well as malls nearby each residential areas because it easy to travel and saving time in shopping at a single place instead of going to every different vendor in area for every single items, which wastes much time of individuals. Moreover, manufacturing companies: food and beverages, cloths, household materials, day to day usage stuffs, these all have to deal with only one management department of the market or mall instead of visiting every local shops to deal with it, which proves that it would be time consumable and easy to deal with the management and provider.

On the other side, there are few drawbacks of it, which is employment as well as business ratio goes down in local markets by providing large shopping centres to public. Because, no one wants to visit such small shops because they all get from big malls whatever they want in similar or less price as compare to local shops. Also, customers can not to bargain with big mall as they have to busy the products as per mentioned price well before times age individuals tried to bargain and saved some money by buying products in cheaper then mentioned price.

To be conclude with positive view on local wants to visit big shopping centre rather than go to small shop because it save times of everyone and that I experienced personally.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of the closure of local shops. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention time-saving benefits and the impact on local shopkeepers, the arguments are repetitive and lack depth. For instance, the point about manufacturing companies dealing with mall management is unclear and not directly relevant to the core issue of local shop closures. To reach a higher band, ensure that each paragraph provides a clear, well-supported argument that directly answers the 'positive or negative' question with more specific, logical examples.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing and repetitive transitions. You use some cohesive devices like 'Moreover' and 'On the other side', but these are sometimes used mechanically. The referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the second paragraph where the connection between manufacturing companies and local shop closures is confusing. Paragraphing is present, but the final conclusion is very brief and does not effectively summarise the main points or restate your position clearly, which impacts the overall coherence of the piece.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. You rely on basic terms like 'good', 'easy', and 'time saving'. There are also instances of awkward word choices, such as 'time consumable' instead of 'time-consuming' and 'well before times age' which is unclear. Some collocations are unnatural, such as 'playing a vital in everyone's life' (missing 'role'). To improve, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensuring that word forms are used correctly in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('there have some consequences'), incorrect verb forms ('customers can not to bargain'), and missing articles or prepositions. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of colons and commas. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would be highly beneficial.

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