Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Shopping complexes are increasingly introducing in every part of the world. It can be seen recently that many small businesses have closed since consumers eagerly travel to big shopping plazas and malls to buy things. In my opinion, this trend brings disadvantages from various aspects. I will discuss my arguments on this scenario in the subsequent paragraphs.

To commence with, it effects negatively on poor societies and create problems for local shop keepers. To explain it, while small scale businesses have been closed everyone have to go in large complex to do shopping which leads to require more money to buy things over there since these malls are expensive enough for middle class people resulting out of their access. Additionally, local shops owners depend on their shops to earn and fulfilling their family needs therefore this modern development can ruin their financial sources. Consequently, this advancement could be proven as darkest world for these communities.

Furthermore, having such approaches considered waste considerable amount of savings and it has bad impacts for rural areas. It can be seen that all things like clothes and other essentials way to expensive in all biggest shopping complexes which needs more money to buy from there. For instance, people have to pay for taxes and prices mentioned on tags as most of the items in these stores imported so it used to be expensive therefore more capital needed to do shopping there.

In addition, individuals who live in rural areas could require spending on transportations since these centres always available in urban locations.

In conclusion, although these malls provide good quality items which may run longer but this development would be beneficial for long time. Therefore, idea to closed small shop may be not relevant they should be open while other like malls available.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that the closure of local shops is a negative development. The ideas are relevant, focusing on the economic impact on local shopkeepers and the increased costs for consumers. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat repetitive and lacks depth. For instance, the argument regarding 'taxes' and 'imported items' in the second body paragraph is not fully explained in relation to the main topic of local versus large shops. While the position is consistent, the supporting arguments could be more nuanced to reach a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'Additionally', and 'In conclusion' are used to guide the reader. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where the flow is interrupted by awkward phrasing, such as 'resulting out of their access' and 'this advancement could be proven as darkest world'. The referencing is generally clear, but the progression of ideas within paragraphs could be smoother to improve the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'Shopping complexes are increasingly introducing' (should be 'being introduced'), 'darkest world' (unnatural collocation), and 'way to expensive' (should be 'way too expensive'). While the meaning is generally clear, the limited range of vocabulary and the recurring errors in word choice prevent a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there is a high frequency of grammatical errors. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('it effects negatively', 'everyone have to go'), incorrect verb forms ('small scale businesses have been closed'), and punctuation/word order issues. These errors are frequent and occasionally require the reader to re-read to understand the intended meaning. To improve, focus on basic sentence construction and subject-verb agreement.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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