Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

While it is true that gradual change in buying habits of individuals from small retail stores to large malls have completely affected local ecosystem. At the same time, the profits have doubled for businesses associated with these large malls in some sort.

There are many reason for which I believe that this change is positive despite having its disadvantage to some personal levels. For this report, I'd like to use a metaphor where there are 50 local store against 3 major large mall in a particular area of the city.

First being the profits itself! Companies make profits by selling their goods in abundance to bigger stores than small shops even though they out number the amount of malls there are in the city. Secondly, It is extremely convenient for customers to get everything they need for their day to day usage from one destinations than moving around city and buying from small stores that are spread across in the entire city. Thirdly, it has been seen that large malls often provide massive discounts on their products which lures customers to buy their needs from their stores.

These are some of the reason why customers have changed their course of action from buying this from stores to big malls. Big mall like CostCo has consistently attracted a large group of buyer through out the year, even in the winters! This change provides customers with comfort of buying items from one place, gives them decent discount, can enjoy shopping with family, can do several other activities while shopping like eat food at stalls, watch movies in theatres, visit game zone with their children which is quite impossible for small vendors to offer in such a tight budget,

Economically, large malls collectively pays extensive amount of tax to the government. Also, it enable employment to not only a few bunch of people but hundred and thousands of individuals creating an organized structure of supply chain.

Taking these points into my account, I firmly consider large malls have far more positives than having any negatives. I myself prefer visiting malls for purchasing day to day items than visiting a small store because of all these points.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that the shift to large malls is a positive development. You provide several relevant arguments, such as convenience, discounts, and economic benefits like tax revenue and job creation. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the mention of 'local ecosystem' in the introduction is not fully explored, and the metaphor regarding '50 local stores against 3 major malls' is slightly confusing and does not clearly support your argument. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is fully explained with more depth and that your examples are integrated more smoothly into the logical flow of your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use some cohesive devices like 'First', 'Secondly', and 'Thirdly', though these are somewhat mechanical. The progression of ideas is generally logical, but the transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs is a bit abrupt. Additionally, some sentences are long and run-on, such as the final sentence of the fourth paragraph, which makes the logical connection between ideas slightly strained. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'buying habits', 'convenience', 'discounts', and 'supply chain'. However, there are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'in some sort', 'get everything they need... from one destinations', and 'large malls collectively pays'. These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the precision of your expression. To improve, focus on learning common collocations and ensuring subject-verb agreement when using more complex vocabulary. Expanding your range to include more sophisticated, topic-specific terminology would also be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is a good start. However, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'change... have', 'malls... pays', 'it enable employment') and article usage. Some sentences are also grammatically incomplete or poorly structured, such as the opening sentence. While these errors rarely prevent the reader from understanding your meaning, they are frequent enough to hold the score at this level. To improve, pay closer attention to basic grammatical rules, especially pluralization and verb conjugation, and proofread your work to catch these slips.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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