Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, in some certain area, especially in countryside, lots of small local shops have closed due to lack of costumers. This case happens because most of the people prefer to buy from the supermarkets. Some groups think that this is not important whether the people go shopping at local shops or large shopping malls, whereas others argue that it causes some disadvantages, both for the people and the environment. In my opinion, I firmly agree that this can results negative impacts to the society and the environment.

To begin with, the small local shop owners will lose their source of income if their shops are closed. This leads in some areas where the people mostly have their own stores. Therefore, people who are living in a low-economic condition will have face difficulties in their daily life for living, because it hard to survive in low income because many of the people prefer to go supermarket for the shopping, and because of that local small store owners earn less money.

Furthermore, most of the large supermarkets, shopping centers and malls built in the city area. For that, they need larger area required to built them and for that they cut many of the trees. It harms the environment. In all malls and supermarkets they store a large amount of food and other things. If customers do not buy that products it might get waste.

In conclusion, we all have to prefer small and local stores for shopping. Because large shopping center and malls are waste of money for buying extra supplies.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that the closure of local shops is a negative development. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention economic impacts on shop owners and environmental concerns, the arguments are repetitive and lack depth. For instance, the point about environmental damage caused by building malls is a relevant idea, but it is not fully explained or linked back to the core issue of local shops closing. To improve, ensure each paragraph provides a clear topic sentence followed by detailed supporting evidence or logical consequences to fully explore the implications of your position.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion' to signal transitions. However, the flow within paragraphs is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing and repetitive sentence structures. For example, the transition 'For that, they need larger area...' is grammatically weak and disrupts the logical progression. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices (e.g., 'consequently', 'in addition to this', 'nevertheless') and ensure that referencing between sentences is clear and precise.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your main points. You use some topic-specific terms like 'low-economic condition' and 'source of income'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors, such as 'this can results negative impacts' (should be 'result in') and 'it hard to survive' (missing 'is'). The vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly the use of 'people' and 'shops'. To improve, try to incorporate more precise synonyms and collocations to demonstrate a wider range of language and avoid basic errors in word form.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow of reading, such as 'in some certain area' (should be 'in certain areas'), 'they cut many of the trees' (should be 'many trees are cut'), and 'it might get waste' (should be 'it might go to waste'). Subject-verb agreement and preposition usage are inconsistent throughout the text. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like missing articles and incorrect verb forms before attempting more complex grammatical structures.

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