Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this modern era, people are more towards mall and big shopping centre as compared to local shops. In my opinion, there are several benefits to do shopping from big places.

First and foremost, person can shop everything at one place such as clothing, grocerries, footware and etc. Also it is enjoyeble for children as they have a children play area to play while parents doing shopping. Moreover, there are different brands and collections for a footware so anyone can buy easily with more choice. Most imperative shopping centres are providing free parking which reduce the burdon of shoppers to find parking. Additionally, they have a food stalls which include famous food chains like MCD and dominos pizza which has many stores in the world.

On the othr hand, local shops have a plenty of drawbacks. The main problem is parking because in this modern world traffic is the biggest issue for all. If you park your car on road then you could definetly get a ticket from a traffic police. Also Children are easily bored at small shops. However, you have an option for a bargaining at the local shops , some times it ended up on scam.

on the conclusion, this mall culture make an significant impact on local shop owners and according to me this make a positive development in community. Also, big centre made a shopping more easire and convienent. Lastly this positive development make an impact on person's individual life as well as for a community.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that the rise of shopping malls is a positive development. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. While you mention benefits like convenience and parking, the arguments lack depth and specific examples. For instance, the mention of 'MCD and dominos' is a bit informal and does not fully support the argument regarding the economic or social impact. To improve, you should expand on your points with more detailed explanations or real-world examples, ensuring that the discussion remains focused on the broader implications of this trend rather than just listing features of malls.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices like 'First and foremost', 'Moreover', and 'On the other hand'. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the logical progression is occasionally interrupted by awkward phrasing. For example, the transition in the conclusion is abrupt, and the use of 'on the conclusion' is non-standard. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would significantly enhance the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it is quite repetitive and contains several spelling errors (e.g., 'grocerries', 'footware', 'enjoyeble', 'burdon', 'easire', 'convienent'). There is a limited range of vocabulary, and some word choices are imprecise, such as 'person can shop everything' instead of 'shoppers can find everything'. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use a wider range of topic-specific vocabulary and focus on accuracy in spelling and collocation. Avoid informal abbreviations like 'MCD' and ensure you use more formal academic language throughout.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay relies heavily on simple sentence structures. While there are some attempts at complex sentences, they often contain grammatical errors, such as 'this mall culture make an significant impact' (subject-verb agreement) and 'some times it ended up on scam' (preposition and article errors). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing and capitalization. To improve, you need to practice using a wider variety of complex structures, such as relative clauses or conditional sentences, and pay closer attention to basic grammar rules like articles, plurals, and verb tense consistency.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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