Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Undoubtedly, the modern world has undergone a significant transformation, with shopping habits of people at the center of this change. It appears that enormous shopping malls are gaining popularity as people preferring over small merchandising stores nearby. I personally believe that it is a positive development owing to organized spaces for shopping. This essay will discuss the reasons coupled with benefits of this approach.

Commencing with the most prominent reason why growing number of people prefer to go the shopping malls regardless of expensive prices. The organized shopping complexes give inhabitants an opportunity to explore all the market at a dedicated arear. This can be exemplify by the fact that most futuristic stores and warehouses have a dedicated room for a particular variety of items, such as clothes, shoes, electronics, and restaurants. Ergo, they don't have to waste all the day in exploring distinctive markets.

Another worth considering reason is that these supermarkets proliferate immense job opportunities for people based on their qualification linked with their experience provided that such shopping areas situated in a planned location. It can be illustrated by an example of Costco, which is a popular brand not only in America, but also in the Europe. These stores are boosting the local employment which further helps in growing the economy of the country. Thus, it is evident that big shopping complexes are not only providing the services to their customers, but also empowering the local people by creating a job bank for them.

Overall, I personally assert that an organized shopping space is needed to save shopping time coupled with local employment.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that the shift toward shopping malls is a positive development. The ideas are relevant, focusing on convenience and economic benefits. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding job creation is supported by the example of Costco, but the link between the closure of local shops and the broader economic impact could be more deeply explored. The response covers all parts of the task, but the analysis remains at a somewhat superficial level, preventing it from reaching the higher bands where ideas are fully extended and supported.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central theme. Cohesive devices are used throughout, such as 'Commencing with', 'Another worth considering reason', and 'Thus'. However, some of these devices feel slightly mechanical or are used with minor errors, such as the awkward phrasing 'Ergo, they don't have to waste all the day'. While the progression of ideas is generally clear, the referencing and transitions could be more natural to achieve a higher band. The paragraphing is appropriate, and the overall structure supports the reader's understanding of the argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, with some attempts at more sophisticated language like 'proliferate', 'transformation', and 'distinctive'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'small merchandising stores' instead of 'local retail shops' and 'waste all the day in exploring' instead of 'spend the whole day exploring'. Additionally, there are minor grammatical errors in word form, such as 'dedicated arear' (area). While the range is sufficient to convey meaning, the lack of precision and occasional inaccuracies in collocation limit the score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text, such as 'people preferring over small merchandising stores' (should be 'prefer shopping malls to small stores') and 'regardless of expensive prices' (which is a fragment). Other issues include 'such shopping areas situated' (missing 'are') and 'the Europe'. While these errors do not significantly impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. The control of complex structures is inconsistent, and punctuation is generally functional but occasionally misused.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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