Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is a burning question that large shopping malls create unemployment for small venders .acoording to me it has both side of coin .

As per my perception there is so many advantages of large shopping malls for shopping purpose .todays world is very fast running ,every one is so busy they have not enough time to go for shopping in different small vendors.

This type of mall provide multipurpose store .it provide all day to day things at one place so it is quite relaxing for people for shopping .another thing is morden mall has amazing atmosphere so if we only Rome in that it provide relaxation .

To survive in business they have to manage their price also .in this type of mall we can easily get all the thing from all over world which is not possible at local shops.

Another side of this is it create imbalance in society .

One common asumption is now a days that poor people go to local shops and wealthy people purchase their thing from big shopping malls .after opening of this type of malls that drastically effect on economy of small vendors that leads to unemployment in them .

For small shops vendors are not able to provide different varieties of products that finally break the chain of customers .and effect income of them .

Big shopping malls has strong financial base so they can easily manage their loss inspite of selling things in affordable price that is not possible for small merchant

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument, acknowledging the convenience of malls and the negative impact on local vendors. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat superficial. For example, the point about malls providing 'relaxation' is not fully explained in the context of the prompt. The position is clear, but the arguments lack depth and specific examples. To reach a higher band, you should expand on your points with more detailed reasoning or real-world illustrations. The conclusion is missing, which is a significant omission for a balanced essay. Ensure you provide a clear summary of your position at the end.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing and limited use of cohesive devices. While you use transition words like 'another side of this', the connections between sentences are often mechanical. The referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the sentence 'that drastically effect on economy of small vendors', where the antecedent of 'that' is vague. Paragraphing is present, but the internal structure of the paragraphs could be improved by using more varied linking words to guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. There are several instances of incorrect word choice and collocation, such as 'burning question' (which is an idiom used incorrectly here), 'Rome' instead of 'roam', and 'morden' (spelling error). You rely on basic vocabulary like 'things' and 'good' rather than more specific terms. To improve, focus on learning topic-specific collocations related to economics and urban development, and pay closer attention to spelling and word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('malls create', 'malls has'), missing articles ('the economy'), and incorrect verb forms ('that drastically effect'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the placement of full stops and the use of capital letters. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and article usage.

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