Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent years, a numerous small local stores have closed because customers travel to the city malls for shopping has become increasingly common in many parts of the world. While this development brings certain advantages like better infrastructure, I believe that it is largely a negative development bacause unemployment in countryside, inflamation, hard for the vulnerable individuals to travel to the city for few things.

One significant disadvantage of this development is increase unemployment in towns. This is mainly because if small local stores are getting close then people who are working in those stores they cannot get paid. For instance, an employee who was working in store and now store is closed because owner was not making enough profit. As a result, employees do not have any local workplace in countyside area and also in some urban places, so long-term their families will come under poverty line and become pressure on government. Therefore, It is clear that malls cannot give employment to the large group of people, small local shops also help people for employment and fulfill their daily requirment.

Another important factor to consider is that if local stores are getting closed then it would be very hard for customers to travel to urban area just for couple of things or few things. It could be possible that customer will pay for travel more then thay purchased from the mall. Moreover, big centers will take advantages of this and get more money from the customers and buyer has to pay bacause thay do not have any other options. As a result, inflamation can incerase and economy can decrease in long-term.

In conclusion, although shopping mall or centers are a good development but it has some disadvantages, I believe that is overall a negative development. This is because unemployment and inflamation can increase, which have a significant impact on society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that the closure of local shops is a negative development. The main ideas—unemployment and the inconvenience for vulnerable individuals—are relevant. However, the development of these points is somewhat limited. For example, the argument regarding 'inflation' is mentioned but not clearly explained or linked logically to the closure of local shops. While the position is consistent throughout, the supporting arguments could be more nuanced and better connected to the broader economic impact to reach a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into clear paragraphs, each with a central topic. Cohesive devices such as 'For instance', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion' are used to guide the reader. However, the flow within paragraphs is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing and repetitive sentence structures. Referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the phrase 'people who are working in those stores they cannot get paid', where the pronoun usage is redundant. The progression of ideas is logical, but the mechanical nature of some transitions prevents a higher score.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to convey their meaning. There are attempts to use topic-specific language like 'infrastructure', 'vulnerable individuals', and 'poverty line'. However, there are several spelling errors ('bacause', 'inflamation', 'requirment', 'thay') and word choice inaccuracies ('get close' instead of 'close down', 'get more money' instead of 'increase profit'). These errors are noticeable and occasionally distract the reader, though they do not fully impede communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('a numerous small local stores have closed'), article usage, and sentence fragments. For example, 'As a result, employees do not have any local workplace in countyside area' lacks necessary articles. Additionally, the sentence 'While this development brings certain advantages like better infrastructure, I believe that it is largely a negative development bacause...' is a long, complex structure that is marred by spelling and grammatical slips. These errors occur frequently throughout the text.

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