Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Shopping has always been a basic part of our life either we go out and shop clothes, perfumes and shoes or to purchase grocery. A considerable number of people adopt shopping as a hobby. For instance, they feel delighted every time they go out and purchase something. In contemporary society, the ways of shopping has evolved from buying from small local shops to large shopping centers.

Previously, shoppers tend to shop from their area's local shops and they feel no shame in buying things from them. As the seller and buyer know each other so there is a less chance of fraud. In addition from local shops, customers can buy things in cheaper rates because there is not fixed price of the product so that they can bargain with the sealer. But there is always a chance of pickpocketing because of the crowd.

On the other hand, purchasers now more attracted towards huge shopping malls because they think they can purchase anything under same roof. Local shops deal only in cash where as nowadays customers prefer to shop either using debit or credit card. Moreover, in addition to shopping there is number of other things a person can do in a shopping center. For instance, shopping malls have food court, cinema, indoor play areas, indoor gym and so on. In this way a shopper not only shop but can also entertain himself and his family.

In conclusion, undoubtedly shopping malls are safer and more convenient offering number of other activities for an individual. On the other hand a purchaser interest towards shopping center affect small shop owners and they are now suffering with less number of shoppers and less demand of their product. So the government should take measure to compensate the local shop owners too so that they can also live their lives respectfully.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the convenience of malls and the negative impact on local shops. However, the position is somewhat balanced rather than clearly argued. While you mention that malls are 'safer and more convenient,' you do not explicitly state whether you view the overall development as positive or negative until the conclusion, where you present a mixed view. To reach a higher band, ensure your stance is clear from the introduction and consistently supported throughout. The ideas are relevant, but the development of the 'negative' aspect regarding local shops is slightly brief compared to the advantages of malls.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use some cohesive devices such as 'In addition,' 'On the other hand,' and 'For instance' to link ideas. However, some transitions feel a bit mechanical, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. For example, the transition between the benefits of local shops and the risk of pickpocketing is abrupt. Additionally, referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the phrase 'there is not fixed price of the product so that they can bargain with the sealer,' where the connection to the previous sentence could be tighter.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'contemporary society,' 'evolved,' and 'compensate.' However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and minor errors, such as 'sealer' instead of 'seller,' 'purchaser interest' instead of 'purchasers' interest,' and 'suffer with' instead of 'suffer from.' These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the precision of your writing. To improve, focus on collocations and ensure you are using the correct form of words in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors throughout, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('shoppers tend to shop,' 'ways of shopping has evolved'), missing articles ('in cheaper rates,' 'there is number of other things'), and preposition errors ('suffer with'). While these errors are noticeable, they rarely prevent the reader from understanding your meaning. To achieve a higher band, you should aim for more error-free sentences and pay closer attention to basic grammar rules like pluralization and article usage.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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