Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, people prefer to visit big malls for shopping. From the last few years, small owners closed their shops because many individuals like to go at big malls and complexes for their shopping. This trend has a negative impact on the local shop owners. I discuss the reasons behind this development along with examples in the upcoming paragraph.

To begin with, this trend has huge impact on the economy of small local owners because they lost the way of earning as people start to travel big complexes for the shopping. For example, small owners sell the products that are cheap and less popular, so individuals prefer to go to malls for branded things, which creates less revenue for the small shopkeepers. Secondly, small local shops are less popular in the cities due to low quality and unpopular products. Thus, people prefer to go to malls for the original pieces.

Moving further, this trend vanish the faith of small owner to run their business because people prefer to buy the things that machine made rather than hand made. To exemplify, small owners use the handcrafts skills to create a lot of designs on different sweaters, so people found it more expensive to buy. Thus, they tend to visit malls to buy the same design that is machine made. In addition to this, it will create a competition among the sellers to sell the products and rum their business because people find the things very easily at the mall.

In the conclusion, local shop owners find difficulty to rum their business in the city because people like to buy the product that are low-budget as well as provide quality to them, so, they seek to go to malls and complexes for their daily spending. Therefore, it is not only create the competion among the sellors but also give bad impact on their earning and minimise the economy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by identifying the trend as a negative development. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive. While you mention the impact on local shop owners and the economy, the arguments regarding 'low quality' products in small shops are not fully supported or logically consistent with the claim that malls offer better value. The position is clear, but the supporting examples, such as the comparison between machine-made and handmade goods, lack depth and clarity. To improve, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a distinct, well-explained reason that directly supports your main argument, avoiding circular reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or slightly inaccurate. For instance, 'Moving further' is not a standard transition, and the use of 'Thus' and 'Therefore' is frequent but sometimes connects ideas that do not logically follow. The progression of ideas within paragraphs is occasionally hindered by repetitive phrasing, such as the constant restatement of 'small owners' and 'malls'. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence flows naturally from the previous one would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on basic terms like 'big malls', 'small owners', and 'things'. There are also several word-choice errors, such as 'rum their business' (likely meaning 'run') and 'vanish the faith' (which is not a standard collocation). To achieve a higher score, try to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to economics and consumer behavior, such as 'commercial viability', 'competitive advantage', or 'market saturation', and ensure that your word choices are contextually appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'this trend vanish'), incorrect preposition usage (e.g., 'go at big malls'), and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'people found it more expensive to buy'). Punctuation is generally functional, but the sentence construction often feels repetitive. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence patterns and proofreading for common errors like verb tense consistency and article usage. Increasing the variety of complex structures will also help demonstrate better grammatical control.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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