Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is often speculated that several small local businesses have been closed because most customers prefer to shop at large shopping centres or public mall to do their shopping. While it poses various positives for people through shopping conveniently under one roof and purchasing products with offers or discount, I firmly believe that it is a negative development because of individuals habit of overspending on unwanted products.

The potential reason for people often shop at large shopping centre is accessibility it facilitates. Precisely, shopping malls carry several brands under one roof and access customers to shop with more options, collections and styles. Eventually, it assists customer to spend wisely and select desired product at one location. In addition, brands within the shopping malls mostly offer various promotional discounts or offers. As a result, people buy their desired product at an affordable rate and saves money from their purchase.

Despite of having several benefits of buying products from mall, it cannot outweigh the negative development of purchasing products from shopping malls. Primarily, people overly spend on products or goods because of promotional discounts. Consequently, they end up buying unwanted items and waste their money on undesired products. Not only this, but also some people spends over their budget and regret later in their life.

To conclude, although shopping under one roof provides better accessibility to the customers, I completing believe that it as a negative development because customers habitual to spend on unwanted goods and waste their money on undesired items.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by identifying the closure of local shops as a negative development. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention convenience and overspending, the arguments lack depth and specific examples. For instance, you could have elaborated on the social impact of losing local shops or provided a concrete example of a community affected by this trend. To reach a higher band, ensure that your supporting points are fully extended rather than just stated. The conclusion effectively restates your position, but the overall development remains somewhat superficial.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. You use some cohesive devices such as 'In addition', 'Consequently', and 'To conclude' to link your ideas. However, the flow is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel slightly forced. For example, the phrase 'Despite of having several benefits' is grammatically incorrect and disrupts the cohesion. Additionally, the referencing is sometimes repetitive, particularly in the final paragraph. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring they are used naturally will help improve the logical progression of your arguments.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'accessibility', 'promotional discounts', and 'overspending'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'access customers to shop' (instead of 'allows customers to shop') and 'completing believe' (instead of 'completely believe'). These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the precision of your writing. To improve, focus on learning common collocations and ensuring that words are used in their correct grammatical form.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('some people spends') and incorrect preposition usage ('Despite of'). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but the frequency of these minor errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring that complex structures are used accurately. A more careful review of your sentence construction would significantly enhance the clarity and professionalism of your writing.

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